Jason: Dude, thanks to you, my dream came true. I have a shiny new budhole. You okay, homie?
Chidi: No! I've had a stomach ache for a week. There have been way too many close calls. Please, I beg you, no more meatball subs. No more drawing boobs in the dirt. I cannot lie to cover for you. Please remember you're supposed to be a monk.