‘Wham, Bam, Thank You, Mammy!’
Season 6, Episode 5 - Aired October 20, 1990
Blanche is upset when her old nanny reveals a shocking secret about Big Daddy. Meanwhile, Dorothy is annoyed by Sophia's attempt to match her up with somebody.
Quote from Dorothy
Dorothy: I had a wonderful time tonight, Jack.
Jack: Good. So did I.
Dorothy: You know, I don't ever go out on blind dates, but Ma was so insistent, and you sounded so nice on the phone.
Jack: I am nice. They don't call 'em "correctional facilities" for nothin'.
Dorothy: And a sense of humor, too.
Quote from Blanche
Mammy: Now, Blanche, that music box is a lot more important to me than you can possibly know. I didn't give it to your family. I gave it to your father. It was a special gift.
Blanche: I don't understand.
Mammy: Blanche, I loved your father.
Blanche: Of course you did. Everybody loved Big Daddy.
Mammy: No, I mean I loved your father.
Blanche: Get outta here.
Mammy: We were lovers, Blanche.
Blanche: That's impossible. Big Daddy was a Republican.
Quote from Dorothy
Sophia: Remember that one time you walked in on me, Dorothy?
Dorothy: Oh, yeah. I still remember what you said. "Mommy's sick. Get help."
Quote from Rose
Rose: I would have died if I'd ever caught my parents having sex.
Dorothy: What, you never walked in on them?
Rose: Once, but they were only playing leapfrog.
Quote from Sophia
Sophia: Dorothy, can we talk? I just want you to understand why I did what I did. Pussycat, I realize I was wrong by not talking to you before hiring a matchmaker, but what you don't understand is where I come from, matchmaking is an age-old tradition. For centuries, people have been happy being brought together by a third party.
Dorothy: Ma, I understand. I-I really appreciate what you're trying to do.
Sophia: Good. And in keeping with that spirit, I sold you to the sultan of Fatah.
Dorothy: Ma.
Sophia: What? You're a substitute teacher. It'll be just like The King and I.
Quote from Blanche
Mammy: Blanche, your father and I were in love. We didn't mean for it to happen, but it did. In another time and place, we would have been married, but at that time in the South, it wasn't an option. And it wasn't only physical, either. You just don't go through what Curtis and I went through just for sex. Although that was reason enough. Blanche, did I shock you?
Blanche: Yes. I've never heard anybody call Big Daddy by his first name before.
Quote from Blanche
Mammy: I had to leave that night because your mother found out about your father and me.
Blanche: Well, you don't love a little girl for ten years and then just walk out of her life! Aw, face it. You didn't care.
Mammy: Did you or did you not wear your very first formal -white with pink trim - to the junior prom? And did you not come home wearin' a football jersey?
Blanche: It was dark in that hay loft.
Quote from Blanche
Mammy: Your father and I spent many an hour trying to figure out what to do with you. You drove that man to distraction.
Blanche: Well, alright, maybe you talked about me, but that's not the same thing as bein' there.
Mammy: I know that. I remember a wedding reception early one June when the most beautiful bride I'd ever seen danced with her equally handsome father.
Blanche: You were there?
Mammy: The song was "Tennessee Waltz," and you asked the band to play it twice so you could dance with your daddy as long as possible. I stood in the back with the caterers so no one would notice. You don't know how much I wanted to hug you. I just had to see my dumplin' on her weddin' day.
Quote from Blanche
Blanche: Here. I think Big Daddy would want you- I want you to have this.
Mammy: Blanche, I don't know what to say. This isn't the right music box.
Blanche: That's the only music box there is.
Mammy: The music box I gave your father was black enamel and played "Stardust." [Bonanza theme starts playing]
Blanche: Theme from Bonanza.
Mammy: Well, then, I guess we went through all this for nothin'.
Blanche: I wouldn't say for nothin'. [hugs Mammy]
Mammy: Then who the hell gave him this music box?