Jacques Decourville: Now look, ladies, if you need anything, any time day or night, you call me.
Rose: Well, we can't. The phone is dead.
Jacques Decourville: Well, there's plenty of stationery in the bureau drawer. Write me.
Dorothy: Oh, I'm starting to root for the revolution.

Sophia: This has been a great day, Mr. Mitsumo.
Mr. Mitsumo: Toshiro.
Sophia: This has been a great day, Toshiro. And driving your Lawn-Boy was so exciting.
Mr. Mitsumo: Eat. Eat.
Sophia: That's amazing. You people eat with two little sticks, you never miss a bite. My people drop half their meal while using a fork, a spoon and a loaf of bread.
Mr. Mitsumo: So, see, so.
Sophia: So, exactly... Exactly what is this stuff?
Mr. Mitsumo: Is sushi. Raw fish. Very good.
Sophia: Whoops, that flew right out of my hand.
[As Mr. Mitsumo gets up to pick up the piece of sushi, Sophia dumps the rest of her plate into her purse]
Sophia: That was delicious. I couldn't eat another bite. I've got to tell you. Even though you eat raw fish and you like to listen to a piano being tuned, I find you awfully cute.
Mr. Mitsumo: Sophia, cuter.

Rose: Now, if you'll excuse me, I'll go wash this squashed bug off my face.
Guy: Yeah, just a minute. Won't be very long.
Rose: Okey-dokey, take your time.
Dorothy: There's somebody in the bathroom.
Rose: Well, he said he wouldn't be long.
Guy: Hey, come on. Don't rush me. It'll take as long as it's gonna take.
Dorothy: I don't believe this. There's a man in our bathroom.
Blanche: Well, Dorothy, relax, let me handle this. Hello there. Excuse me, sir. Are you married?

Winston Hardwick III: Ladies, as long as we're stuck with each other, let me give you a piece of friendly advice. Buzz off.
Dwayne: Beat it.
Rick: Yeah, scram.
Blanche: Look, kid, you can just kiss my patootie. Now, this is our room and our john, and if you have to go, why the jungle's that way.

Sophia: Now try the veal piccata. You'll weep.
Mr. Mitsumo: Sophia, very sweet.
Sophia: Toshiro, can I make a confession? You bring out the beast in me. I know. I know you look at me, you think, "There's a chick who gets around." But that's not true. Until I met you, I didn't even know I still had those feelings. You made me realize there's a lot of wisdom in what the Sicilians say about the old olive tree. Although it's ancient and gnarled, and not much to look at, it still has the tastiest, plumpest olives. Toshiro, how about an olive?
Mr. Mitsumo: Olive?
Sophia: Look, I realize you don't understand most of this. But that's OK. I was married 45 years. My husband spoke perfect English, never understood a word I said. Toshiro, I think it's time you learned some English. Lesson number one. Kiss. [phone rings] Who the hell is this? Dorothy, nice to hear from you. How's the vacation? Good. Well, nothing's happening here. Take care.
Mr. Mitsumo: Lesson number one. Kiss.

Dorothy: Girls, girls. Now, let's examine our priorities. We have no food, water or shelter. Besides, I also slept with Nolan on that fateful trip. And as your leader, I must decree that the fault indeed lies with Nolan.

Rose: I'm just so full of love, I have to let it out. [singing] "I'd like to teach the world to sing in perfect harmony...
Men: [singing] We'd like to hold it in our arms and keep it company.
Dwayne: How about a mai tai?
Dorothy: Where have you been?
Dwayne: You remember when Rose said there might be a waterfall in that rock formation. You were right. There is a waterfall. And it empties into a pool in the lobby of the Hyatt Regency.
Rick: We never left the island. We got shipwrecked on the good side.
Winston Hardwick III: Our new hotel is half a mile this way. Come on, we reserved you a room. Rick, put out the fire.
Blanche: Ladies, as long as we're not going to die, I suggest everything we said won't go further than the three of us.
Rose: Well, back in the scouts we used to make it official by pricking our fingers with a penknife and taking a blood oath. What do you say, girls?
Dorothy & Blanche: Shut up, Rose.
Rose: I sure am glad everything's back to normal. I'd like to teach the world to sing in perfect harmony I'd like to hold it in my arms