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Twas the Nightmare Before Christmas

‘Twas the Nightmare Before Christmas’

Season 2, Episode 11 -  Aired December 20, 1986

The girls' plans to return home for the holidays are ruined when a man wanting to celebrate Christmas with other people takes them hostage at Rose's counseling center.

Quote from Dorothy

Rose: You've been so grouchy all day.
Dorothy: Oh, I'm sorry, Rose. I guess I'm just sad because Christmas doesn't have a meaning anymore. It's gotten so commercial.
Rose: How can you say that?
Dorothy: Oh, please Rose. The three wise men in the nativity scene at Burdines' were wearing Ralph Lauren ski parkas.

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Quote from Blanche

Blanche: Catch me, catch me, catch me.
Dorothy: Let me take a wild guess. You didn't expect us home this early.
Blanche: Dorothy, Rose, I'd like you to meet...
Rose: We know who he is, Blanche. Santa, how could you?
Blanche: Rose, this is Ed Kletner. He's working part-time at the mall. He's on his break.
Rose: A Santa is never off duty, mister. As long as you're in that uniform, the only thing that better be on your mind is giving people what they want for Christmas.
Dorothy: He was trying to, Rose. I saw Blanche's list.

Quote from Sophia

Rose: Sophia, did you finish your shopping today?
Sophia: Yeah, just about. It's unbelievable how much things cost nowadays. I just spent $89 for a doll for my granddaughter.
Dorothy: Ma, you had $89?
Sophia: Don't be ridiculous. I charged all my gifts with a credit card I got out of your purse.
Dorothy: You're taking them back.
Sophia: Even the beautiful cashmere sweater I got for Blanche?
Blanche: Cashmere? I love cashmere.
Sophia: Don't tell me. Tell Scrooge.

Quote from Dorothy

Dorothy: Ma, how did you think I was going to pay for all this?
Sophia: On time. Loosen up the mousetrap a little. It's Christmas.
Dorothy: You see what this holiday has become? You see? Everybody thinks that the best way to show someone you care is by going into debt. I mean, where is the love? Where's the sharing? Where is the true spirit of Christmas?
Sophia: Neiman Marcus, ladies' apparel, third floor.

Quote from Rose

Rose: Girls, I have a terrific idea. Before we go home to spend to Christmas with our families, why don't we have a little celebration right here? St. Olaf style.
Dorothy: I will not drink eggnog while wearing a cast-iron brassiere.
Rose: We don't do that at Christmas. We do that at Easter. At Christmas, we exchange gifts we make for each other.

Quote from Sophia

Dorothy: What do you say, Ma?
Sophia: Unless you make a lamb's-wool jacket with a fake fur collar, my heart is staying with Neiman Marcus ladies' apparel, third floor.

Quote from Dorothy

Rose: This one's from me, Dorothy. They're very popular back home. It took me a week to whittle it.
Dorothy: Oh, Rose.
Rose: Do you like it?
Dorothy: Like it? Oh, honey, I love it. Who wouldn't love a wooden brooch in the shape of a turkey's head?
Rose: Oh, no. No, that's a maple syrup spigot.
Sophia: You know what she took back? A set of pearl earrings.
Dorothy: The ones I fell in love with at Jordan Marsh?
Sophia: Yep. Ho, ho, ho.
Dorothy: Ma. Who cares? Rose, I love it. No, this'll come in a lot handier than those pearl earrings, the next time I'm lost in the woods with a stack of pancakes.

Quote from Blanche

Rose: Just think, girls, tomorrow's Christmas Eve, and we'll be back home with our families. Ah, there's nothing like Christmas in Minnesota.
Dorothy: Unless it's Christmas in New York. A light snow falling over Fifth Avenue, ice skaters at Rockefeller Center, Santas on every street corner.
Blanche: Really?!

Quote from Blanche

Blanche: [to Santa] Oh, hello there, tall, dark and jolly.
Dorothy: Blanche, maybe you should stay and talk to a counselor, too.

Quote from Sophia

Airport Mendicant: Excuse me. Would you like to buy a flower?
Sophia: Beat it, chrome dome! And while you're at it, get a job, get a suit, get on your knees and beg your mother's forgiveness.

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