Sophia: If that's the doctor, tell him I have no insurance and no money! If he still wants to come in, he just wants to see me naked.

Rose: Morning, Dorothy. Blanche and I were just having some coffee. Would you care to join us?
Dorothy: Frankly, Rose, I would rather use Willie Nelson's hairbrush.
Blanche: Must you attack everything Southern?

Dorothy: You are not going anywhere. Dr. Clayton is coming.
Sophia: Dr. Silvano is my doctor!
Dorothy: Dr. Silvano is dead.
Sophia: Trust me, I'm in better shape than he is. Goodbye.
Dorothy: Ma, you have to have an examination. Your blood pressure is up, you're tired, you have absolutely no color.
Sophia: I'm an old white woman. I'm not supposed to have color. You want color? Talk to Lena Horne.

Rose: Here we are, Sophia. Homemade chicken soup. I used to make it for my husband when he wasn't feeling well.
Sophia: Did you make it for him the last time he wasn't feeling well?

Blanche: I just happened upon the most divine dress sale. I would'have called you girls, but all they had left were petites.

Rose: Oh, Miami's a beautiful city. I'm sure you'll enjoy living here.
Dorothy: Yes, and I'm sure your wife, Mrs. Clayton, will enjoy it, too.
Dr. Clayton: Mrs. Clayton and I are no longer together.
Dorothy: Oh, I'm so sorry. So, tell me, have you had a chance to see much of the city?
Dr. Clayton: No, not really.
Dorothy: Perhaps I could show you some of the highlights sometime.
Dr. Clayton: That sounds great. I'd love it!
Rose: I'd love to go, too. [Dorothy stomps on Rose's foot] Except I have to wash my hair every day for the rest of my life. It's very oily.

Dr. Clayton: Hello, Rose. My, what is that marvelous scent you're wearing?
Rose: Fancy albacore tuna. I made a casserole for dinner.
Dr. Clayton: Well, you certainly wear it well.
Rose: I think it's the pimento that really sets it off.

Rose: I know it doesn't feel like it right now, but you did the right thing by telling Dorothy about Elliot.
Sophia: What about Elliot?
Blanche: He made a pass at me.
Sophia: While he's seeing my Dorothy?
Rose: Yes.
Sophia: I can't believe it! My daughter is finally dating a doctor he turns out to be a scuzz bucket! Why does everything happen to me?

Rose: What's the matter, Sophia? You couldn't sleep, either?
Sophia: No, I was sleeping great, Rose. I just wanted to show off my pajamas.

Rose: [seductively] Has anyone ever told you you look exactly like Jerry Vale?
Dr. Clayton: No.
Rose: They should. [gyrating] He's the only man in the world that can make the hair on my arms stand up. Can I fix you a drink?
Dr. Clayton: No, thanks. Is something wrong with your leg?
Rose: Nothing you can't fix, doctor man.
Dr. Clayton: I beg your pardon?
Rose: I know I look square, but I'm like my father's tractor. I take awhile to warm up, but once I get going, I can turn your topsoil 'til the cows come home.
Dr. Clayton: Rose, please.
Rose: Wanna see some Polaroids of me in my tennis skirt?