Mangiacavallo: Remember that restaurant in Sicily we used to go to on Sundays? I'd save up all week for one plate of pasta that we'd share.
Sophia: The checkered tablecloths, the candle in the Chianti bottle, bad paintings of the Colosseum.
Mangiacavallo: You remember!
Sophia: No, but the odds were in my favor.

Dorothy: I still don't have a date for Jenny's wedding. My own goddaughter, and I'm gonna show up alone.
Sophia: How humiliating!
Dorothy: Ma, don't rub it in.
Sophia: I meant for me.

Dorothy: I called every guy I know, and they all came up with the same lame excuse.
Rose: What?
Dorothy: "I don't want to go."
Blanche: Good morning! Dorothy, do you have a date yet?
Dorothy: I don't want to go.

Blanche: Dorothy. I'll get you a date. You can borrow one of my extras. What kind of guy would you like?
Sophia: She's not picky.
Dorothy: Yes, I am.
Sophia: Right. You could circle the globe without finding another Stan.

Dorothy: Look, why do you care if I have a date?
Sophia: Family honor. Especially at this wedding.
Rose: What's so special about this wedding?
Sophia: Dorothy's goddaughter is marrying the grandson of Giuseppe Mangiacavallo. [spits]

Blanche: Sophia's right. Oh, Dorothy, come on. Borrow one of my men. One of my many, many, many, many, many, many men!
Dorothy: All right. All right. For Ma's sake.
Blanche: Let's see. You're going with Howard. Dr. Howard.
Dorothy: How about Doug?
Blanche: Oh, Dorothy, not Doug! I couldn't possibly. He's on my A-list. I mean, come on, Dorothy. He's a judge. He's fun to be with, and I haven't paid a speeding ticket in six months.

Sophia: Hey, Dorothy, you could always call Claude Hughes.
Dorothy: Oh, come on, Ma. Claude Hughes is the dullest, ugliest man I know.
Sophia: So what's the problem?
Dorothy: He didn't want to go.

Dorothy: You're trying too hard, Blanche.
Blanche: Well, you hurt me with what you said. Oh, Dorothy, let me get you somebody hot off my A-list. Somebody tall, good-looking, goes with everything.
Dorothy: Doug?
Blanche: How about an ex-racecar driver? Speaks five languages, has three car dealerships. Has a slight limp, so he can only dance in a circle, but that works at a wedding.
Dorothy: Doug.
Blanche: I got an anesthesiologist, but you won't feel anything.
Dorothy: Doug.
Blanche: All right, Doug. But listen. Don't you forget, you be careful. This man is on loan from the Blanche Devereaux collection.

Dorothy: Oh, what a beautiful wedding. And, Ma, nothing went wrong.
Sophia: A curse doesn't work in a church. Too many statues. Give it time.

Rose: Is it just me, or did anybody else notice the buns on that priest?