Rose: Oh, I can't do it. I can't ask him to go away with me. I've never learned how to be aggressive.
Blanche: Honey, it's as easy as riding a bicycle.
Rose: I never learned how to ride a bicycle.
Dorothy: It's as easy as falling off a bicycle.
Rose: Really? Well, that is easy. Thanks, Dorothy. [exits]
Dorothy: It was just a hunch.

Ernie: Oh, Rose, I'm having a wonderful time. You're a lot of fun to be with.
Rose: Oh, I'm having a good time too. I don't think I've had this much fun since I was a little girl back in St. Olaf. I remember once when I was about ten...
Ernie: You were about to tell a story. Why did you stop?
Rose: Well, this is usually when Dorothy and Blanche interrupt me. Anyway, I'd always go to the movies every Saturday afternoon with all my friends. Oh, we'd have a ball. The only problem was that our town theater was designed for silent movies.
Ernie: They never put in a sound system?
Rose: No. Luckily, our schoolteacher, Miss Sigerson, was an expert lipreader. She'd do all the dialogue. There were some problems sometimes. Through most of Citizen Kane, we all thought everybody was looking for a rowboat.

Rose: I can't talk about this.
Dorothy: Oh, of course you can. Rose, We're your friends. We're here to listen. I mean, we've all spoken at one time or another about a sexual problem.
Blanche: Not me.
Dorothy: It's not your fault, and it's not Ernie's. I mean, we've all been with a man who couldn't perform.
Blanche: Not me.
Rose: I just feel so so undesirable.
Dorothy: Oh, honey, we all have at some point. I know, Blanche, not you!

Dorothy: Rose, how about you and Ernie seeing a sex therapist?
Rose: Well, I suppose I could talk to Ernie. Maybe we could make an appointment.
Blanche: Well, sex therapy is one solution, but there are other ways.
Dorothy: Oh, Blanche, dessert toppings are not the answer.
Blanche: I was talking about patience. Rose, just tell Ernie that sex is not the most important part of a relationship. Just ask anybody married to an Englishman.

Ernie: I know why you called me, Rose. I know why you wanted to have dinner.
Rose: You do?
Ernie: You wanted to tell me that maybe we should stop seeing each other.
Rose: Ernie, that's not true.
Ernie: Come on, Rose. I mean, after all, you can't be happy with the way things are. I mean, you're a healthy, active, sexy woman.
Rose: Well, I'm also a patient woman, Ernie. I mean, really. I'm probably the most patient person you know. Go ahead. Try to think of somebody else. I'll wait.

Rose: Good morning.
Dorothy: Well, good morning.
Blanche: Rose Nylund, you little devil. Just look at you.
Rose: What?
Blanche: Don't you get coy with me. I can tell. The rosy cheeks, the bright smile, the distant, not-quite-there expression.
Sophia: She looks that way every day. What's your point?
Blanche: [sing-song] Rose has been with a man.

Dorothy: Hey, she didn't even tell us how it happened.
Sophia: Same way it happened the last time you did it. Of course, hairstyles may have changed since then.

Blanche: Now, honey, don't you be depressed. What you did was wonderful. And it's all because you're such a kind and sensitive and caring person. You gave him back his manhood.
Rose: If he can find it, he can have it. He's probably the worst lover I've ever had.
Blanche: I'll get the ice cream.
Dorothy: I'll get the cheesecake.
Sophia: I'll get the Etch A Sketch. At my age, I need a visual aid.

Dorothy: Blanche, look at this picture. A man's body was washed ashore on the beach last night.
Blanche: Oh, how horrible.
Dorothy: And look at this. It says: "A tan bamboo purse was found at the scene." Do you know what that means?
Blanche: The man was murdered on his way to a Peter Allen concert?
Dorothy: No. It makes me think about Ma and that ridiculous vendetta. I mean, if I didn't know Ma, I might actually consider...
Sophia: Anybody seen my purse?
Dorothy: Oh, God. Ma, how could you do this?

Dorothy: Ma, why are you so cranky?
Sophia: I had plans with Mildred tonight. She waited until the last minute to call and cancel it.
Blanche: The woman had a heart attack.
Sophia: It wasn't massive.