Dorothy: Look, I like Marguerite as much as you do, but she's been here a week and she is not doing a very good job.
Blanche: I think she's doing a terrific job. Why, ever since she gave me that potion, Norman's been on me like white on rice.
Dorothy: I'm talking about... White on rice?

Dorothy: Then it's settled. We fire Marguerite.
Blanche: Oh, but couldn't we wait just a few more days? I think Norman's finally going to invite me to the premiere of Give 'em Hell, Harry! Starring Mr. Father Mulcahy from MASH.
Dorothy: What does that have to do with Marguerite?
Blanche: Well, it was her potion that brought us together.
Dorothy: Oh, Blanche, you still think that Marguerite has some kind of mystical powers?

Rose: Oh, Marguerite, I feel so terrible.
Marguerite: What's the matter with her?
Dorothy: She's a little upset. She just found out Gene Shalit wants his hair to look that way.

Rose: Something weird is going on around here, Dorothy.
Dorothy: Don't be silly. You're just having a little bad luck.
Rose: Do you really think that's all it is?
Dorothy: Of course.
Rose: Well, maybe you're right. Need any help?
Dorothy: Get away from me, you jinx. I mean... I mean, no thank you, Rose.

Rose: Come on, you have to admit terrible things have been happening since we fired Marguerite. Our plumbing went bad, the refrigerator broke down. We've all had car trouble. You haven't slept a wink, and now Blanche's boyfriend's dumped her for a porker.

Dorothy: Wait, wait a minute. Nobody is calling anybody. Now, look, this whole thing has gotten way out of hand. First of all there is no such thing as a curse. No! All right, we've had a little bad luck, but, ladies, that's life.
I mean, when you look at it, has anything that out of the ordinary really happened?
[A man dressed in a crow costume parachutes onto the lanai]
Guy: This isn't the Orange Bowl, is it?

Dorothy: Then you lied to me about it's helping me to sleep.
Marguerite: Okay, I figured that you'd be angry because I didn't sweep under the bed.
Rose: Gee, you're really a good liar.
Marguerite: I know, that's why I'm studying to be a lawyer. See, I'm going to school at night and the only time I have to study is when you all go out in the morning. That's why the toilets don't get the attention they probably deserve.
Blanche: Well, then everything was just a misunderstanding and Norman really did dump me for a fat woman.
Sophia: No kidding? Fatter than you?

Marguerite: I hate to burst your bubble but I just wanted a job. The truth is I don't have any magical powers.
Rose: Boy, have I been stupid. I haven't felt this dumb since I found out William Conrad wasn't one guy in a jacket and another guy in a pair of pants.

Dorothy: So, tell me, how was the wedding?
Sophia: Beautiful. Until the bride lifted her veil. I shudder to think what was under that dress.