Blanche: Has either of you girls seen Marguerite?
Rose: She's not here yet.
Blanche: I wished you'd look at this. She melted my buttons with the iron. Now I'll never be able to open my blouse again.
Dorothy: It's a dark day in the history of mankind.

Blanche: Oh, well, all right. I guess I'm just being silly. Okay, go ahead and fire her, Dorothy.
Dorothy: Why should I be the one to fire her?
Blanche: You're the meanest.
Rose: Blanche, that's not true. Dorothy just looks the meanest. We hired Marguerite together, we fire her together.
Dorothy: Thank you, Rose. And by the way, you look the dumbest.

Marguerite: I'm sorry I'm late, but I had to go downtown to get some special herbs. I'm throwing together another little aphrodisiac for Blanche. I better get to my work.
Blanche: Girls, we can't fire her now, she's making me an aphrodisiac!
Dorothy: Use vodka and black underwear like everyone else!

Dorothy: I hate to interrupt your work, but we have to talk to you.
Blanche: Yeah, but before we do I just want you to know that Tootie is my favorite on The Facts of Life.

Blanche: She seemed pretty upset.
Dorothy: We just fired her.
Rose: What do you think she meant, "we're making a big mistake?"
Dorothy: She meant that she's unhappy that she lost her job. [explosion] Or that she's going to blow up our kitchen.

Blanche: Girls, you'll never guess what happened. Norman threw me over for a fat woman.
Rose: Oh, Blanche, I'm sorry.
Blanche: Thank you, Rose, but Dorothy's the one who ought to be sorry, it's all her fault.
Dorothy: What? What did I do?
Blanche: Well, you made us fire Marguerite. Now she's put a curse on us.
Dorothy: Come on now. You're just upset. You're talking nonsense.
Rose: Well, it makes perfect sense to me.
Dorothy: I rest my case.

Blanche: Gee, I hope Marguerite likes champagne.
Dorothy: Don't you think we may be going a little overboard with this?
Blanche: Dorothy, remember the crow man.
Dorothy: Do we have any caviar to go with this champagne?

Rose: Sophia! What are you doing here?
Sophia: I live here, remember? [seeing Marguerite] What is this, the Miss Black America contest?

Dorothy: Marguerite, I'd like you to meet my mother. This is my mother, Sophia Petrillo. Ma, this is Marguerite.
Marguerite: Oh, I'm pleased to meet you. Won't you join us?
Sophia: Yeah, and pour me some of that champagne. I never know if I'm gonna make it to New Year's. So, what are we celebrating? Did The Supremes get back together?

Dorothy: Ma, you know, I really think you should go and lie down. You look exhausted.
Sophia: Hey, I'm 80. I look like this in the middle of a dead sleep.