Rose: Did you have a nice nap, Sophia?
Sophia: I didn't have a nap. I died a little. I went to heaven.
Dorothy: Oh, Ma. You just slept, is all.
Sophia: You were there? Don't tell me where I went. I went to heaven. I saw the golden light and some angels in white robes with harps. I thought I was at Saks at Christmas, but then I saw your father.
Dorothy: Really?
Sophia: He was surrounded by women. He's in heaven.
Rose: Did you see God and Jesus?
Sophia: They were busy. I think I'll go back.
Dorothy: Ma, don't go.
Sophia: No, Dorothy. It's a wonderful place. I'm very excited about it.
Dorothy: Ma, I want you here.
Blanche: Sophia, are there lots of men in heaven?
Sophia: Oh, Blanche.
Blanche: I'd like to know.
Sophia: Dorothy, get me my rosary.

Rose: So there I was with no vet, and Petunia was about to give birth to her piglets. Well, I just didn't know what to do. I mean, I had helped deliver Bessie the cow, but Petunia was so much more difficult. She-
Sophia: If I died, would you stop telling this story?

Dorothy: But she didn't have a heart attack, you're absolutely sure?
Dr. Harris: I've got a portable EKG machine in the car. I'll double-check of course, but it doesn't seem like a heart attack. She's got classic gallbladder symptoms: a tenderness in the upper right quadrant, a slight discoloration of the whites of her eyes.
Sophia: Try this and tell me you're not in heaven.
Dr. Harris: Sophia, I can't, really.
Sophia: One bite, for God's sake!
Rose: Isn't it a little rude for him to be eating while she's having a heart attack?
Blanche: She's not having a heart attack.
Dr. Harris: Mmm. That's good.
Sophia: Give me one of those.
Dr. Harris: Hide this stuff!

Blanche: Dorothy, is he single or what?
Dorothy: Or what.
Blanche: Happily?
Dorothy: Happily.
Blanche: Damn.

Dorothy: Boy, what a relief.
Sophia: You're telling me. I thought I was a goner. It's incredible. You think you're dying, you feel death enter your body. The doctor comes, he says you're fine, you're ready to swim the English Channel.
Dorothy: I can't tell you how happy I am. I want you around for a long, long time.
Sophia: They'll have to murder me. Though, I must admit, I was a little excited about seeing your father again.
Dorothy: Ma, you feeling OK?
Sophia: I'll live. Listen, I'm sorry if I scared you.
Dorothy: Honey, don't worry about it. I'm just thrilled that you're OK and 'cause I'm happy that, you know, I'm your favorite.
Sophia: What are you talking about, favorite?
Dorothy: You know, you told me that I'm your favorite.
Sophia: Please! What favorite? Are you kidding? I thought I was dying. Favorite?