‘The Competition’
Season 1, Episode 7 - Aired November 2, 1985
The girls get competitive over a local bowling tournament. Meanwhile, an old flame of Sophia's visits from Sicily.
Quote from Dorothy
Sophia: I can't believe you're denying your own mother.
Rose: Denying her what?
Dorothy: Springsteen tickets, Rose.
Quote from Dorothy
Dorothy: Blanche, let's go! Come on, Blanche, let's go! Blanche, wake up. My wife will be home any minute.
Blanche: [waking up] Oh! Where's my shoes? Oh, Dorothy, that was a terrible thing to do!
Dorothy: I'm sorry, but we have to get down to the bowling alley.
Quote from Blanche
Rose: Blanche, do you want to have a side bet with me?
Blanche: Well, I would Rose, but everything you own is so damn ugly.
Quote from Rose
Blanche: Wait a minute, what are you all doing here? We're supposed to be sharing this alley with the Nielsen twins.
Rose: They had to drop out to go to Lars' funeral.
Dorothy: I thought Lars' funeral was yesterday.
Rose: It was, but he requested an authentic Viking funeral and every time they tried to set him and his ship on fire, the Coast Guard kept putting it out. They had to reschedule for today.
Quote from Rose
Blanche: Rose, take that off.
Rose: What?
Blanche: You are wearing my bowling outfit.
Rose: Why, I do believe you're right. Oh, don't worry about it, honey, nobody will notice. It looks so different on a woman with a full bosom.
Blanche: Don't you throw your bosom in my face!
Quote from Rose
Dorothy: This is embarrassing! Get back out there!
Blanche: No, I don't want to. I just hate bowling. All I ever wanted to do is look cute in my new outfit.
Rose: We all look cute in your new outfit! [Rose and Sophia shake their bodies in Blanche's outfit]
Quote from Dorothy
Sophia: That means I'm going.
Dorothy: You go, honey, and with my blessing.
Sophia: I'm touched. Do I have your 1200 bucks?
Dorothy: You have my blessing and you have my money.
Sophia: For another thousand, I could go first class.
Dorothy: Arrivederci.
Quote from Sophia
Sophia: So Augie and I took a bus to Palermo to look up our old friend Teresa DiFino. We spent two hours on the bus. Another hour looking for her house. We finally find the house, knock on the door, and what do you know? She died.
Dorothy: Ma, it happens.
Sophia: That morning!
Quote from Dorothy
Rose: I just think it's amazing that a man would look up his first love after all these years. Well, I wonder why Italian men are so romantic.
Dorothy: It's the tight pants, Rose.
Quote from Sophia
Dorothy: Now tell me what's going on. Mmm.
Sophia: I told you, nothing.
Rose: Oh, Sophia, that smells heavenly! Is it Chef Boyardee?
Sophia: Stick it in my heart, Rose.