Blanche: Well, I think it's time that man was exposed for what he really is. I'm gonna go do it and tell him off right now.
Dorothy: Blanche.
Patrick Vaughn: I love you, Josie. I want you to know you're the only woman in my life.
Blanche: That's a sack of cold chestnuts, mister.
Patrick Vaughn: Blanche.
Blanche: Oh, don't you Blanche me, lowlife. You think you can just roll into town and have your way with every woman you want?
Phyllis Hammerow: There was someone else besides me?
Blanche: Oh, yes, there was me and there was Rose.
Dorothy: And me.
Phyllis Hammerow: You slept with the sheriff?
Rose: Lord knows how many others he took advantage of.
[All the female actors raise their hands]

Rose: My God, that's him.
Dorothy: Oh, how does the room look?
Blanche: Who cares? How do I look?

Patrick Vaughn: Ladies, I'm afraid I don't have the time now. I'm doing another project in town. I have to meet the director to discuss the nuances of the character I'll be portraying.
Rose: Oh, I think I read about that. Aren't you playing a tangerine in a television commercial?
Patrick Vaughn: Yes.
Blanche: Oh, how exciting. Have you ever been a fruit before?
Patrick Vaughn: No, but having been in the musical theatre for 30 years, I've had my share of offers.

Patrick Vaughn: To hell with this town. Come away with me.
Dorothy: But Biff, you are a drifter. How can I just pull up stakes and run off with you?
Patrick Vaughn: Please reconsider, Josie. You're the prettiest girl in the county.
[Blanche and Rose laugh in the audience]
Dorothy: Shut up. Go on, Biff.
Patrick Vaughn: I need your answer now, Josie. What's it gonna be?
Dorothy: I want you to take me, Biff. [They kiss] Right here on the stage.
Patrick Vaughn: Pardon me?
Dorothy: Oh, I'm sorry. That was just an ad-lib.

Patrick Vaughn: Blanche.
Blanche: Yes, Judas?
Patrick Vaughn: You're mad because you didn't get the part.
Blanche: Well, you're darned right. Was Phyllis really better than me?
Patrick Vaughn: Much better. But you are far more attractive a woman.
Blanche: I know. What's your point?
Patrick Vaughn: Well, Blanche, I've never done anything like this before. I mean, I hardly know you. But would you consider having dinner with me tonight?
Blanche: Why, yes. Yes. Yes. Wait till my friends hear about this.
Patrick Vaughn: Oh, for the time being, this must be our little secret. I'm in the middle of a rather messy divorce, and if the reporters-
Blanche: Oh, say no more. I'm not naive about these things. I have a subscription to People magazine.
Patrick Vaughn: Then, until tonight at eight o'clock.
Blanche: See you later, Boff. Biff. Patrick.

Rose: Hi, Mr. Vaughn.
Patrick Vaughn: Oh, please, call me Patrick. Rose, there's been something I've wanted to ask you all day.
Rose: Mine are real.
Patrick Vaughn: That's not what I wanted to ask you, but that is good to know. Rose, ever since we met, I had a feeling there was something between us. Would you have dinner with me tonight?
Rose: Jeepers. Yes. Wow, wait till Blanche and Dorothy hear about this.
Patrick Vaughn: It'll have to be our secret for the time being. I'm in the middle of a messy divorce and if the reporters get a hold of this-
Rose: Oh, I understand. I read People magazine.
Patrick Vaughn: Well, then, until tonight, at ten o'clock. [kisses Rose]
Rose: I don't know what you just did, but you'd make one hell of a yodeller.

Dorothy: Oh, Mr. Vaughn.
Patrick Vaughn: Dorothy, I'm glad you're here. There's something I want to ask you. One, do you read People magazine? And two, are you doing anything tonight around midnight?

Blanche: It's been a wonderful afternoon, Patrick.
Patrick Vaughn: It's been a wonderful week, Blanche.
Blanche: Oh, Patrick, our relationship's just so special, I don't think I can keep it a secret any longer.
Patrick Vaughn: Well, it's hard on me too, Blanche. But when the time is right, I'll rent a plane and write it in the sky.
Blanche: Oh, Patrick, sit down. I want to make a confession. I've never told this to another living soul, but I'm not perfect.
Patrick Vaughn: Blanche.
Blanche: No, I mean it. Look in my left eye. [lays back over his legs] What do you see?
Patrick Vaughn: Well, there's a little sleep crust in the corner.
Blanche: No, I mean in the center. See, there's just a slight flaw in my iris.
Patrick Vaughn: Oh, yes.

Dorothy: Blanche. Patrick.
Patrick Vaughn: Dorothy. What are you doing here?
Dorothy: I live here.
Blanche: You mean you and Blanche are roommates?
Dorothy: That's right. Now what is going on?
Blanche: Why, Patrick was just kind of enough to drop by and help me rehearse my part in the play.
Dorothy: Rehearse? Rehearse what? You're a non-speaking townsperson.
Patrick Vaughn: We added a stunt, where Blanche gets tossed to the floor. Watch. [Blanche lays back over Patrick's legs, he drops her to the floor]
Blanche: Well, I think I'm getting the hang of that, Patrick. I think I'll just go out to the backyard now and practice it on the lawn.

Dorothy: Patrick, what is really going on here?
Patrick Vaughn: I made up that flimsy excuse hoping to run into you. Thank goodness it worked out. I've really missed you.
Dorothy: Oh, wait a minute. What do you think, I'm some kind of idiot? I mean, you just said you didn't even know Blanche and I were roommates.
Patrick Vaughn: That's right. And she believed it.
Dorothy: Oh, God, you're a wonderful actor.
Patrick Vaughn: There's no acting involved when I'm around you, Dorothy. This week has been incredible.
Dorothy: Oh, let's tell everyone how we feel about each other. [As the door rustles, Patrick drops Dorothy to the floor]