‘That's for Me to Know’
Season 7, Episode 4 - Aired October 12, 1991
After Rose calls the building inspector, Blanche learns she can only have two tenants and must evict someone. Meanwhile, Dorothy wants to know more about her family history, but Sophia is keeping a secret.
Quote from Blanche
Don: Hi, I'm Don Benson. I'm here about the hot tub.
Blanche: Oh, my goodness, word does travel fast. It's not in yet, Don.
Don: Oh, no, I'm not here to soak in it. I'm a city inspector.
Blanche: [closing door] You can't come in here. This house has been quarantined. We all have, uh... Quick, Rose, give me a deadly disease.
Rose: Oh, I'm sorry, Blanche. I don't have a deadly disease.
Blanche: Well, get one.
Quote from Rose
Blanche: Won't you come in? May I help you?
Don: Yeah, I got a call from a Lois Nylund.
Rose: Oh, that's Rose Nylund. Rose, as in a series of seats in a movie theater.
Don: Or the flower?
Rose: Well, yeah, that, too.
Quote from Dorothy
Blanche: Look, Rose, I have calculated the cost of this hot tub right down to the last penny. I cannot afford any useless permits. Now, if he insists I have to have them, it's gonna be on your head. Period!
Rose: Well, I can't believe she said that. Exclamation point.
Dorothy: Well, who's to say? Question mark, new paragraph... What the hell am I saying?
Quote from Dorothy
Sophia: Wait a second. Why are you asking me questions about our family? Uh-oh. I'm gonna die. You talked to my doctor. I'm gonna die.
Dorothy: Ma, the doctor says you're healthy as a horse. Well, actually, the doctor in our pre-paid health plan says you're healthy as a camel. I assume in his country it's the same as a horse.
Sophia: You know, Dorothy, for an extra $5, we can get a doctor who sees patients one at a time.
Quote from Sophia
Sophia: It all happened so fast. He grabbed her. She bit him. He stuffed her in his calamari wagon and sped away. And that, dear grandchildren, is how my parents met.
Dorothy: How romantic, a roll in the squid.
Quote from Sophia
Sophia: Hey, keep away from that.
Dorothy: What are you- What's in the box?
Sophia: Mexican jumping beans.
Dorothy: Ma.
Sophia: Sorry, Hispanic jumping beans.
Quote from Blanche
Blanche: Dorothy, guess what I have under my robe?
Dorothy: That guy from the circus?
Blanche: No, Dorothy, my new swimsuit. I'm wearing it to entice the muscular young men who are coming over to install my hot tub. Would you like to see it?
Dorothy: Is it a two-piece?
Blanche: Yes.
Dorothy: No.
Blanche: Oh, this is just so exciting. I love construction workers. Good with their hands, dumb as stumps, and don't mind showing their buns when they bend over.
Quote from Rose
Blanche: Rose, can I see you in the kitchen?
Rose: I don't know. Why don't you go in and find out?
Quote from Dorothy
Dorothy: Rose. Rose, this isn't my box, it's my mother's. I was gonna open it, but I can't.
Rose: Dorothy, I'm proud of you. [exits]
Dorothy: I can't with a bobby pin, maybe with a butter knife.
Quote from Blanche
Don: Well, I guess you'll just have to lose a renter. Hey, you got 48 hours.
Blanche: For- Hey, uh, Don, wait! [to Rose] All right, I'm gonna catch him, but you're gonna sleep with him.