Dorothy: Rose, why do you look so depressed?
Rose: I'm tired of going out and not enjoying myself. All the men I meet act so old. Last week, I went out with this man that talked for two hours about his prostate problems. I lived in Minnesota for 51 years, I never even heard of a prostate.
Dorothy: Honey, they don't have them there. It's too cold.

Blanche: Dorothy? What's the matter? Something wrong?
Sophia: The thrill of victory! The agony of defeat!
Blanche: I don't know why you play cards with your mother. It just makes you crazy.
Dorothy: You're absolutely right, Blanche! This has gone on far too long! Mom, I am not playing gin with you anymore!
Sophia: You'll be back. You know why? You're too competitive! It's always been your worst feature. Actually, your ears are your worst feature. But competitive is right up there!
Dorothy: Do you believe that?
Blanche: No. I always thought your bony feet were your worst feature.

Dorothy: Wait a minute, you haven't told me about the double date!
Blanche: It was a complete disaster.
Dorothy: You mean Rose and her guy didn't hit it off?
Blanche: Oh no, they got along just great. It was my escort who turned out to be the dud. Next time, I'm gonna date both brothers before I give one away.

Dorothy: I hear you had a great time tonight.
Rose: It was the best! I haven't laughed so much or acted so silly since I was a teenager. You know what we did?
Dorothy: What?
Rose: We ran a tollbooth! Arnie said he just did it because it was there! Oh, he is the most outrageous, unpredictable man I have ever met!
Blanche: Jeffrey's on a low-sodium diet.
Rose: I can't remember when I had so much fun! We went dancing at The Beachcomber. We're gonna go back again tomorrow night.
Blanche: Jeffrey doesn't dance. He says it makes his ankles swell.

Blanche: Oh, Dorothy, would you please open this jar of macadamia nuts for me?
Dorothy: You can't get it open?
Blanche: Oh, I didn't try. I don't want to risk cracking a nail.
Dorothy: What are these, claws?
Blanche: I figured you wouldn't mind, seeing as how you work with your hands all day.
Dorothy: I'm a teacher, I grade papers. I don't shuck oysters!

Rose: Maybe it sounds strange, but without Charlie, I thought that part of my life was over. I never gave it a second thought.
Dorothy: Until now? Then I think you should go on the cruise. Honey, if the situation is right, you'll know it.
Rose: But I'm not sure I'm ready.
Dorothy: Oh, honey, I know what you're going through. The bottom line is, if you take a chance in life, sometimes good things happen, sometimes bad things happen. But honey, if you don't take a chance, nothing happens.
Rose: I'm gonna take a chance.

Rose: Oh, I have to look in my closet. I don't even know what to wear the first night on the ship.
Blanche: A life jacket and a great big smile.

Dorothy: No, I just wonder if maybe we didn't push her into something too fast.
Blanche: What I can't understand is how in the world she managed to wait 15 years.
Dorothy: How long did you wait after George died?
Sophia: 'Till the paramedics came.
Dorothy: Ma!

Sophia: Your father didn't even take off his pants!
Dorothy: Ma!
Blanche: What about you, Dorothy? Who was the first after Stan, hmm?
Dorothy: Blanche.
Sophia: Her divorce lawyer.
Dorothy: How did you know?
Sophia: It's always the divorce lawyer.

Arnie: Rose, Rose, are you still in there? This is crazy! Look, I talked to the purser. Another cabin is available and I'll move to it. But I need to get in the bathroom, Rose. I hate to go anywhere without my Actifed. [Rose opens the door] Good morning.
Rose: I can't let you see my eyes. They look terrible from crying.
Arnie: Rose, you couldn't possibly look terrible to me. I left my contact lenses in the bathroom.
Rose: I'm sorry. I am so sorry.
Arnie: Yeah, it can be awkward.
Rose: I thought I could do it, I really did. And then I couldn't. You see, it would have been the first time since my husband died.
Arnie: I figured it was the first time. It's been 15 years since he died, huh? Boy, he must have been something.
Rose: This may sound silly, but it's true. I felt I would be unfaithful to Charlie if I slept with you.
Arnie: Rose, it's not silly. I felt that way when my wife died.
Rose: You did?
Arnie: Absolutely. 'Course I didn't let that stop me.
Rose: You mean you'd just make love and feel lousy?
Arnie: Well, I'd feel lousy about it. But otherwise, I'd feel terrific. Look, that's the difference between men and women, I guess. We can do it no matter what.