Blanche: Dorothy, do you realize it's only two weeks till Phyllis's Memorial Day beach party? That means there's only two weeks till we have to get back into bathing suits again. Well, I just slipped into last year's bikini and I think I look pretty good, but you give me your honest advice. Can I still pull it off?
Dorothy: Right now I'd be surprised if you could cut if off.

Sophia: This cake is guaranteed to make me gain back that pound.
Dorothy: Ma, all this eating you're doing is ridiculous. Now, I am sure you are already back up to 99lbs.
Sophia: We'll see. Wrong again, Kreskin. Still 98.
Blanche: 98 pounds. I can't remember the last time I weighed 98. Probably college.
Dorothy: Where'd you go to college, Blanche? The University of Jupiter?

[flashback:]
Yvonne: And stretch. Legs wider.
Dorothy: Oh, ow. That hurts.
Blanche: I'm not having any trouble.
Dorothy: Why is it that doesn't surprise me?

[flashback:]
Dorothy: Gee, Ma, I don't know if this was such a good idea.
Rose: I think you're right, Dorothy. I think I should've done my own hair. I've been doing it for years.
Sophia: That's why it looks like something you buy on a stick at halftime.
Blanche: Sophia, we're just a little bit nervous. This is a very important event. We want to look perfect.
Sophia: Please! The man works with scissors, not a sandblaster.

[flashback:]
Rose: What about me? Could I be a goddess too?
Eduardo: No, no. You are an earth mother. Sweet, compassionate, but bubbling with sensuality just below the surface.
Rose: Oh, that's a relief. All this time I thought it was gas.

[flashback:]
Eduardo: Ladies, it's time. Time for the unveiling of another Eduardo masterpiece. Sit back, feast your eyes, and meet the woman you always dreamt you could be.
[The girls all have their hair like Sophia's. Later:]
Sophia: Eduardo, you've done it again. And again. And again.

[flashback:]
Rose: This seems like a nice club.
Blanche: But it's for women only. What's wrong with the nice coed gym we just saw?
Dorothy: Come on now, Blanche, that was nothing but a pickup scene. People running around in skimpy outfits, collecting phone numbers.
Blanche: That's not true. I was not in a skimpy outfit and I got all these.

[flashback:]
Dorothy: Yvonne, we are desperate women. You've got to help us.
Yvonne: I know just what you need. Aerobics. It's what I do.
Blanche: But, Yvonne, you're much younger than they are.
Yvonne: I know you'll love aerobics. It stretches every muscle in your body.
Blanche: Honey, I've been stretching this body for years.
Dorothy: Blanche, sticking your feet out of the sunroof of a Chrysler New Yorker doesn't count.

[flashback:]
Yvonne: Sweats? Look, ladies, if you're serious about training, you want to get off on the right foot, starting with good workout shoes. Now, these are beautiful, and a bargain at $85. $85?
Dorothy: That's a bit exorbitant.
Rose: And expensive too.
Yvonne: Well, we do have cheaper brands, but anyone who's, you know, serious wouldn't even go near them.
Blanche: Then we'll take those.
Yvonne: Fine. You'll also need aerobic suits, warmup outfits, wristbands, headbands, leg warmers.
Dorothy: Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Leg warmers?
Yvonne: Well you need something to keep your thighs warm. What are you using now?
Dorothy: Friction. That's why we're here.

[flashback:]
Blanche: I thought I heard a man's voi- Oh, it's you, Stan.
Stan: I'm so happy you're all here. I have just had an incredible experience that I wanted to share with my dearest friends.
Rose: So what are you doing here?