Sophia: The guy from the ad will be here any second. How do I look?
Dorothy: Ma, you forgot to zip up your dress.
Sophia: I didn't forget. He's probably got arthritis. Why make it any harder?

Dorothy: What is going on here?
Sophia: I'm looking through the personals to find myself a man. Remember what that is, Dorothy? It's an animal, kind of like a woman, except that it's got a-
Dorothy: Ma!

Sophia: No visible means of life support. I like that in a man.