Ernie: How's your souffle, Rose?
Rose: Delicious. I never did get the hang of making these. Boy, there is nothing more frustrating than waiting for one of these suckers to rise and it just won't. ... That's no reflection on you, Ernie.

Blanche: Well, Rose has a date and I don't. What are the odds of something like this happening? There's probably a better chance of getting struck by lightning in a house you won from Ed McMahon.

Rose: If you ask me, people rely too much on sex in relationships, anyway.
Ernie: You're right. I mean, what is sex, after all?
Rose: Two clunky old bodies thrashing around against each other. Like animals.
Ernie: You get all sweaty and flushed.
Rose: Your hair gets mussed.
Ernie: You lose your breath.
Rose: You lose your earrings.
Ernie: Your mouth waters.
Rose: Your nose runs.
Ernie: Your heart races.
Rose: Your blood races.
Ernie: Rose.
Rose: Say it, Ernie.
Ernie: It's time, Rose.
Rose: Check, please!