Sophia: Would you stop complaining? We've got it easy. Back in Sicily, I was on a game show. It was torture.
Rose: What was it called, Sophia?
Sophia: I just told you. Torture. Mussolini asked the questions and you'd better have the right answers. Things like: Who do you like better, me or Hitler? Who's got the snappiest boots, me or Hitler? Who's got the cuter girlfriend, me or Hitler? And you always had to answer, "Mussolini." Otherwise, they forced you to play the lightning round. They used real lightning.
Dorothy: Oh, come on, Ma, you're making this up.
Sophia: Like hell, I did. Goodson-Todman brought it to the United States., changed a few of the rules and called it Tattle Tales. Now count your blessings and go to sleep. Good night.

Dorothy: Hi, Ma. You want some dinner?
Sophia: Forget dinner. Listen up, everybody. I've got something in this old lady purse that's gonna make you scream, holler and jump for joy.
Blanche: Are the batteries included?

Dorothy: Oh, Ma, these tickets were sent out four months ago. You gave them the wrong address.
Sophia: Oh, yeah. Here it is, my old address from Sicily. Two miles west of Palermo, underneath the old bridge.
Rose: You used to live under a bridge?
Sophia: Yeah, we were wealthy. Most people didn't have a bridge to live under.