Rose Quote #309

Quote from Rose in Forgive Me, Father

Rose: You will not believe what happened to to me. I'm driving home, down Barnsdale Avenue, listening to my yodelling tapes, when the driver behind me starts furiously honking his horn. I decide to be a lady and let him pass. And what does he do? Pulls alongside, shouts obscenities that would make Joan Rivers blush, then speeds off down the street.

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 ‘Forgive Me, Father’ Quotes

Quote from Blanche

Blanche: I know what I'm talking about because I was in a very similar situation once. He was a man of the cloth. Totally dedicated to his vocation or so he said, but his eyes told me he was dedicated to me. We both knew it was wrong and we fought our feelings with every bone in our hot, longing, writhing bodies. Finally, it was just too much for us and we gave up and checked into a Best Western.
Dorothy: You had an affair with a priest?
Blanche: Priest? I didn't say he was a priest. I said he was "a man of the cloth". He was a fabric salesman. You know, we never made love again after that, but he did cover my La-Z-Boy for free.

Quote from Blanche

Dorothy: I don't think I can do it.
Blanche: Oh, Dorothy, of course you can. Look here, now you be Frank. I'll be you. OK? Why, Frank, you know I've been thinking, this is the third Saturday of our relationship and I don't even know what you like to eat. Why don't you come over for dinner this Saturday night and let me find out what whets your appetite.
Dorothy: And what are you serving for dessert, Blanche, penicillin?

 Rose Nylund Quotes

Quote from Dorothy's New Friend

Rose: I remember when I was a little girl back in St. Olaf. There was this old lady who lived up the street. She never smiled. I mean, she always looked angry. The kids said she'd kill anyone who even stepped on her property. We called her Mean Old Lady Higgenlooper.
Blanche: Yeah, kids can be pretty cruel.
Rose: No. That was her name. Mean Old Lady Higgenlooper. She had it changed legally 'cause everybody called her that anyway.
Blanche: Then how come your name isn't Big Dummy?
Rose: Well, there were already three other people in town with that name. But that's beside the point. One day I got up the courage to go up to Mean Old Lady Higgenlooper and ask her why she always frowned. Well, she had been born with no smiling muscles. I pointed out that a frown is just a smile turned upside down. So from then on, whenever I'd go by, she'd stand on her head and wave.

Quote from Henny Penny - Straight, No Chaser

Blanche: This is horrible. As Big Daddy used to say, "I'm feeling lower than the rent on a burnin' building."
Rose: That's funny. I used to live in a burning building. And it was cheap. It was Charlie's and my first house. Well, scoff if you must, but it was warm and toasty. I'll never forget Charlie throwing me over his shoulder and dashing across the threshold. Oh, it was a beautiful place. Three bedrooms, two baths. Then two bedrooms and one bath. Eventually, we outgrew the place.