Sophia Quote #806

Quote from Sophia in And Ma Makes Three

Rose: Hi, Sophia. How are you this morning?
Sophia: My joints ache, my ears are ringing, and I think my butt dropped two inches on the way down the hall. All in all, not bad.

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 ‘And Ma Makes Three’ Quotes

Quote from Sophia

Sophia: Reminds me of the place I met Charles de Gaulle. We were lovers, you know.
Raymond: Really?
Dorothy: Ma, that's a lie.
Sophia: Who asked you?
Sophia: Picture it: Sicily, 1921. A beautiful young peasant girl saves her lira and takes a trip to Paris, the city of lights, also the only place a guy can wear a cape without getting a lot of funny looks. She wanders into a restaurant and ends up sharing a table with a dashing young Frenchman. They drink, they talk, they burn a cork and draw mustaches on each other.
Raymond: What?
Sophia: Just wanted to see if you were listening. Anyway, the next thing she knows, it's hours later, the place is empty, and the Frenchman's got his schnoz down her blouse. This begins a beautiful love affair. Kids, I was that peasant girl, and the schnoz was Charles the Mole.
Raymond: Charles the Mole?
Sophia: Yeah, Charles the Mole. He was the wheel man for Louie the Ice Pick.
Dorothy: Ma, you said Charles de Gaulle.
Sophia: Yeah, right! I slept with Charles de Gaulle. I could've been the first lady of France, but I married your father instead. A man who cleans his toenails with a shrimp fork.

Quote from Rose

Sophia: It's not that easy to make new friends.
Rose: It sure wasn't for the first Eskimo family that moved to St. Olaf. Especially after they sawed a hole and went salmon fishing in the middle of the local ice skating rink. And then there was the Halloween they gave all the kids whale blubber. And then there was the time they borrowed every ice tray in town to build an addition over their garage.
Dorothy: What was the point, Rose?
Rose: I guess after the baby came, they needed more room. The point of the story... Well, gradually they were able to make friends, and they ended up the most popular family in town.
Blanche: But only because they went out and met people. Isn't that right, Rose?
Rose: No. It was because in the drought of '49, their house melted and kept the town from dehydrating.

 Sophia Petrillo Quotes

Quote from The Flu

Blanche: You don't have to worry about me. I never get sick. I take very good care of myself. I treat my body like a temple.
Sophia: Yeah, open to everyone, day or night.

Quote from The Engagement

Rose: I don't drink before bedtime. I stop all liquids at noon and I still wake up.
Sophia: I never have that problem. Never. I sleep like a log. I never get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom. I go in the morning. Every morning like clockwork, at 7 am I pee. Unfortunately, I don't wake up till 8.