Blanche: Hey, I have an idea. Let's have a getting-out-of-prison party. See, everybody can pretend they've been locked up for about three years and they have all this pent-up sexual energy. Everybody's all pumped up because all you ever do in prison is lift weights, so we'll get all those muscle guys with homemade tattoos... What are you looking at?

Herb Shrewsbury: Well, the trial is set for a month from now, so I'm going to need some character witnesses.
Blanche: Maybe you should start by interviewing me. I would make a wonderful witness. I can't tell you how many times I've been badgered by lawyers. Well, I could, but it might sound like boasting.

Herb Shrewsbury: You did a good job, ladies, but let's not forget there still has to be a trial, and Mrs. Heartgrove's confession is pretty strong. I just wish we had something that reflected on her credibility.
Sophia: What if we had a video of her and a friend mooning a hot dog vendor?
Herb Shrewsbury: That would totally discredit her.
Sophia: Wait a minute. I just remembered who the friend was. Can't use it. Moving on.