Sophia: But this time, I'm gonna fulfill my destiny. This time, I'm gonna become a nun.
Dorothy: Do you believe what we just heard?
Blanche: I can't believe anybody would want to be a nun. I mean, "nun." The word says it.

Mother Superior: So, Dorothy, I'll bet you love your mother a lot.
Dorothy: Well, that depends. What has she done?
Mother Superior: It's not necessarily anything specific. It's my feeling that life here is too structured for her.
Dorothy: I'm afraid I don't follow you.
Mother Superior: She is a stubborn, old, vindictive pack mule of a woman who won't follow the rules.
Dorothy: OK, I'm back with you.

Rose: Well, you're not gonna believe this. I've just been talking on the phone for a half-hour, and guess what.
Blanche: You forgot to dial first?
Rose: No.
Dorothy: You held the receiver upside down?
Rose: Unh-unh.
Dorothy: It wasn't even the phone, it was the TV remote control.
Rose: No.
Blanche: A shoe?
Rose: Blanche, please. I'm not an idiot. The TV has a remote control?