Blanche: What's your gripe with the President, anyway?
Dorothy: He calls himself the "education president," but our education system has some serious problems. I see the illiteracy, I see dropouts, I see kids who can't even find India on a map.
Rose: Well, to be fair, Dorothy, that stumped Columbus too.

Sophia: Pussycat, are you doing the grocery shopping today?
Dorothy: Yeah. Something you want?
Sophia: Uh, pick up a couple of chicken breasts, and why don't we say 40 - better make that 45 - tubes of sunscreen.
Rose: Oh, Sophia, I've made that mistake before. The best thing to do is just turn the oven down if you don't want the chicken to burn.
Dorothy: Rose, honey, I don't think my mother was planning on using the suntan lotion on the chicken. What do you mean, you've made that mistake before?

Dorothy: You wouldn't believe all the security out there. Of course, they have to have it. When the President comes to town, it brings out all the oddballs. [doorbell]
Stan: Hi, it's me, Stan.
Blanche: Stanley, what are you doing here?
Stan: I'm glad you asked. Inside this box is my best novelty yet, not to mention the perfect tie-in to the President's visit. Ladies the George Bush point of light on a stick.
Blanche: You know, Dorothy, every now and then it dawns on me you had children with this man.