Blanche: Anyway, I got good news from my accountant. I'm being audited Tuesday.
Dorothy: Oh, lucky you.
Blanche: Dorothy, you don't get it. My accountant reminded me that I've been audited before and I've never had to pay a penny in back taxes. I have a way with auditors. The last time I was audited I got money back from the government.
Sophia: Blanche, it's not a refund when the auditor leaves two twenties on your nightstand.

Blanche: OK, Rose, I'm going to tell you a story about a young girl in high school who was very insecure about the other kids liking her. Now, she would do anything - anything - to gain their approval. She would do their homework for them, while her grades suffered. She would give them her lunch money, in the misguided belief that she could buy their acceptance. Finally, lonely and desperate for affection she gave her virginity to the first boy who showed her the slightest attention.
Dorothy: You know, Blanche, until you told this story, I never realized how much we had in common.
Blanche: We don't have anything in common. That was a story Sophia told me about you.

Sophia: OK. How about when you were unmarried and pregnant?
Dorothy: I remember your exact words: "Get out of my house. You're dead. I have no daughter named Dorothy."
Sophia: Sure, in that tone of voice it sounds bad. But I'm supporting you now. Didn't I come here to live with you in your twilight years?
Dorothy: Ma, these are your twilight years.
Sophia: Are you kidding? I'm supposed to be dead. These are your twilight years.