Rose: I can relate to the festivities part, Sophia. All our children were conceived on special St. Olaf holidays. Adam was conceived on the Day of the Princess Pig when they had the pig crowning, and Jeanella was conceived on Hay Day. That's the day we St. Olafians celebrate hay.
Dorothy: Rose, do you think you could wrap this up before Rebecca goes into labor?
Rose: Then there was the Day of the Wheat when everybody came to town dressed as sandwiches. Charlie and I forgot to put cheese between us and before I knew it, there was Kirsten.

Rose: You know, I'm not so sure sperm can't live outside the body. Back during World War II, my best friend Claire Osterhaus's husband was in the army and stationed in France. Well, five months after he left St. Olaf, she got pregnant. A lot of people thought she was fooling around, but she told me that sperm must have swum from Normandy. Across the Atlantic, up the St. Lawrence Seaway, into the Great Lakes and then over to Minnesota.
Blanche: And what did you think, Rose?
Rose: Well, I know those little guys are supposed to be good swimmers but I think it had to come over by mail.

Dorothy: Ah, there you are. Ma, I scheduled the appointment for your checkup. Ma, you know you have to have a physical. What do you want me to do? Take you to court? Have you declared incompetent?
Sophia: I'm not incompetent. Once when I laughed too hard, I had a little accident.