Rose Quote #690
Rose: Oh, yeah? Well, it just so happens that there are a lot of things I can do better than you guys.
Blanche: Name one.
Rose: Can you tighten a horn on a helmet? Smoke a herring in a pine log? Check a bull for a hernia?
Dorothy: I guess the really rough part is getting him to turn his head and cough.
Quote from Rose
Rose: Back in St. Olaf, when I couldn't sleep, I'd get into my pajamas and have a nice glass of warm milk and slip under the covers and count cows jumping over my bed. It'd usually work like a charm, except every once in a while there'd be a cow with a particularly low udder and it would brush across my forehead and wake me up.
Quote from Sophia
Sophia: Look, you're all confused and upset about this house business. There's only one thing you can do.
Blanche: What is that, Sophia?
Sophia: Take the advice of a wise old Sicilian.
Rose: You, Sophia?
Sophia: No. Charlie Callas. Many years ago, my father had a similar problem when he was selling real estate.
Dorothy: I didn't know that Grandpa ever owned any real estate.
Sophia: He didn't. That was the problem. You see, it turned out he really didn't own the Vatican. Although he did have a very close friend who swore he was there the night Pop won the deed in a card game from Pope Ronnie the Magnificent.
Quote from Dorothy's New Friend
Rose: I remember when I was a little girl back in St. Olaf. There was this old lady who lived up the street. She never smiled. I mean, she always looked angry. The kids said she'd kill anyone who even stepped on her property. We called her Mean Old Lady Higgenlooper.
Blanche: Yeah, kids can be pretty cruel.
Rose: No. That was her name. Mean Old Lady Higgenlooper. She had it changed legally 'cause everybody called her that anyway.
Blanche: Then how come your name isn't Big Dummy?
Rose: Well, there were already three other people in town with that name. But that's beside the point. One day I got up the courage to go up to Mean Old Lady Higgenlooper and ask her why she always frowned. Well, she had been born with no smiling muscles. I pointed out that a frown is just a smile turned upside down. So from then on, whenever I'd go by, she'd stand on her head and wave.
Quote from Henny Penny - Straight, No Chaser
Blanche: This is horrible. As Big Daddy used to say, "I'm feeling lower than the rent on a burnin' building."
Rose: That's funny. I used to live in a burning building. And it was cheap. It was Charlie's and my first house. Well, scoff if you must, but it was warm and toasty. I'll never forget Charlie throwing me over his shoulder and dashing across the threshold. Oh, it was a beautiful place. Three bedrooms, two baths. Then two bedrooms and one bath. Eventually, we outgrew the place.