Rose: Well, is everybody ready for a spirited game of Googenspritzer?
Blanche: Googenspritzer? You said we were gonna play Monopoly.
Rose: I said it was like Monopoly, only instead of Atlantic City, they use St. Olaf geography.
Blanche: Well, I'll be the bank.
Rose: Oh, good. There's the cashbox.
Blanche: Well, honey, this is empty.
Rose: Oh, I know. The St. Olaf Bank was one of the first savings and loans to go under.
Dorothy: Bad management?
Rose: Bad contractor. They built the bank on marshland, and it sank. All that was left were a few deposit slips and a pen with a chain attached to it, floating in the muck.

Sophia: Mmm that's a mighty... That's a mighty lousy pizza!
Dorothy: Ma, you never tasted it before?
Sophia: No, and I never will again.
Sy: What the hell are you doing?
Sophia: Sorry, Sy. You can't pay me enough to endorse that slime on a shingle.
Dorothy: Ma, this is a nationwide commercial. There is a lot of money involved here.
Sophia: Sorry, Dorothy. There are two things a Sicilian won't do: lie about pizza and file a tax return.

Blanche: Well, Rose, I might not have any idea what it's like to feel the kind of dependency you do, but there was a time in my life when I tried quittin' something.
Dorothy: Blanche, you don't mean?
Blanche: Sex, Dorothy. I tried quittin' sex.
Dorothy: Obviously you fell off the wagon.
Sophia: And onto a naval base.