Blanche Quote #715
Blanche: I swear, sometimes I think I just wanna throw in the towel and take an early retirement. I wonder if you can collect Social Security at 49, 50.
Dorothy: 4950? What is that, Blanche, the address of the Social Security building?
Quote from Dorothy
Blanche: It sure would be nice to have some investments to fall back on, though. I just never had a mind for that.
Dorothy: Me neither. I never had a mind for money matters. I always used to let Stanley handle all our investments.
Rose: Did he have a head for numbers, Stanley?
Dorothy: The man used to have to get naked to count to 21.
Quote from Sophia
Sophia: Let me tell you a story, Dorothy. Picture it: Sicily, 1920. Two young girls pack their bags and leave their tiny village to seek fame and fortune and a meal cooked without oregano. Their journey takes them to a seaside town where a ship prepares to depart for the New World. They're just-
Dorothy: The New World?
Sophia: Hey, anybody can say Baltimore. There's an art to telling these stories.
Sophia: Where was I?
Dorothy: Departing for the New World.
Sophia: Oh, right. Anyway, the price of steerage turns out to be 900,000 lire. Or approximately a buck and a quarter. Which is exactly the amount of each girl's life savings.
Sophia: That's why this is a story instead of an immigration report. May I continue? One girl chooses to spend her money and take a chance on adventure. The other plays it cautiously and books only a ferry to Sardinia, saving the rest of her money for a rainy day.
Dorothy: Lemme guess, Ma. You were the one who chose adventure.
Sophia: You also would've said Baltimore instead of the New World. You're no good at this, Dorothy. I'm the girl who played it safe. Maybe if I'd made the other choice, I'd have been prime minister of Israel instead of my good friend Golda Meir.
Dorothy: Ma, you never met Golda Meir!
Sophia: Please! I almost married her husband, the man who perfected the hot dog.
Dorothy & Sophia: Oscar Meyer.
Quote from Hey, Look Me Over
Rose: Wait a minute. If you didn't sleep with any of the men in these journals, then how come it says "Bed" on the cover?
Blanche: [laughs] Oh, that doesn't say "Bed."
Rose: Right there, it does.
Blanche: Oh, silly, those are my initials. Blanche Elizabeth Devereaux.
Dorothy: Your initials spell "Bed"?
Quote from It's a Miserable Life
Blanche: Wish me luck.
Dorothy: Wait. Blanche, why should you do it?
Blanche: Because we'll have a better chance. I happen to be a wonderful orator. And two of the commissioners can verify that.
Dorothy: Blanche, "orator" means "speaker".
Blanche: Really? Oh. Well, somebody else do the talking.