Blanche: I guess it's just like that old saying: opposites attract.
Rose: Oh, that's very true. Back in St. Olaf, Ollie Canudenspringle and his wife Bridget were opposites in every way. I mean, he was fat, she was thin. He was neat, she was sloppy. He was tall, she was short. He was cheap, she was extravagant. He was...
Sophia: Opposites. We get the picture.
Rose: Well, anyway, I'll never forget the time they sang at our annual talent show, right after the herring juggling act.
Blanche: You mean to tell me that somebody actually juggled herring.
Rose: No. It was the herring who did the juggling. Tiny little Ginsu knives. Really very dangerous. I mean, one false move, they could have filleted themselves.

Rose: Oh, the "Be a Pal" program? Well, each week, you get a motherless girl and be her pal. Help her with her homework and take her to movies and have dinner together.
Dorothy: That's very interesting. Maybe I could get involved with that. How about you, Blanche?
Blanche: Sure. Why, nothing would be more satisfying than to be of loving service to a lonely, motherless child.
Of course, I'll have to see pictures of the father before I commit.

Eddie: I'm sorry. I'm still not really recovered. You see, after 25 years of marriage, my wife Roberta sent me a Dear John letter.
Rose: That's terrible. Married 25 years and she doesn't know your name is Eddie?