Dorothy: Look, race is not even an issue. Your daughter is twice my son's age. What can a women in her 40s possibly have in common with a boy in his 20s?
Blanche: Sex. At 20, a man is at his peak, and a woman in her 40s is also at her peak. So when the two come together, hot damn!

Blanche: Dorothy, just a word of caution. I almost lost my Becky when I stuck my nose into her business. Now, believe me, it is not worth it.
Rose: Blanche is right. The same thing happened to the Vikbotters back in St. Olaf. You see, Gretchen had this thing for Buddy, but Mr. Vikbotter didn't approve. He did his best to keep them apart. But one day he came home early and he found Gretchen and Buddy in... How will I say it? A most indelicate situation.
Dorothy: What did he do?
Rose: Well, he yelled at them to stop, but they wouldn't, so he turned the hose on them.
Blanche: He turned the hose on them?
Rose: Well, they were in the front yard.
Blanche: Oh!
Dorothy: Wait. Wait. Wait a minute, Rose. Buddy and Gretchen weren't people, were they?
Rose: Of course not. They were dogs. Gretchen was a Dalmatian, and Buddy was a schnauzer. And Mr. Vikbotter wasn't too happy when he ended up with a litter of schnalmations.
Blanche: You know, Rose, sometimes I wish somebody had turned the hose on your parents.

Sophia: What's all the racket? Oh, Martha and the Vandellas are back.
Dorothy: Ma!
Greta: It's all right, Dorothy. I've got one at home just like her.
Dorothy: You have one at home, too?
Sophia: One at home? What am I, a cocker spaniel? Why don't you just give me an old sock to chew on?