Rose: I remember when I was a little girl back in St. Olaf. There was this old lady who lived up the street. She never smiled. I mean, she always looked angry. The kids said she'd kill anyone who even stepped on her property. We called her Mean Old Lady Higgenlooper.
Blanche: Yeah, kids can be pretty cruel.
Rose: No. That was her name. Mean Old Lady Higgenlooper. She had it changed legally 'cause everybody called her that anyway.
Blanche: Then how come your name isn't Big Dummy?
Rose: Well, there were already three other people in town with that name. But that's beside the point. One day I got up the courage to go up to Mean Old Lady Higgenlooper and ask her why she always frowned. Well, she had been born with no smiling muscles. I pointed out that a frown is just a smile turned upside down. So from then on, whenever I'd go by, she'd stand on her head and wave.

Barbara: Hi, Dorothy, Rose. I certainly hope tonight will help us forget what happened the other night.
Sophia: I already forgot what happened the other night. But then again I'm 82 years old. This morning I forgot my cat's been dead for 20 years. Which makes me wonder: Who's using the kitty litter?

Blanche: Rose, what was your first impression of me?
Rose: I thought you wore too much makeup and were a slut. ... I was wrong. You don't wear too much makeup.