Rose Quote #451
Rose: Oh, we really enjoyed your lecture on modern sculpture.
Laszlo: I didn't think anyone was paying attention.
Rose: Oh, we sure were. Especially Dorothy. She even talked about taking up sculpting.
Laszlo: Really, Dorothy?
Dorothy: Oh, no, I didn't.
Rose: Yes, you did. You said you'd like to help him mold his clay or buff his marble anytime.
Quote from Sophia
Dorothy: Ma, you don't have any clothes on.
Sophia: Tell me about it. I just walked ten blocks. I got a belly button full of tweed.
Dorothy: Ma, what the hell happened?
Sophia: In the middle of bingo, Murray Hazeltine sits down. He's the big practical joker at the center. Believe me, Howie Mandel is funnier. Anyway, he tells me to sniff his carnation for good luck. I take one whiff, and bingo.
Dorothy: He squirted your dress with ink.
Sophia: Actually, it was Del Monte prune juice. It's free at the center. It's a come-on. They make their real money on the powdered toilet seat rentals.
Dorothy: So what happened to your clothes?
Sophia: Murray took them to have them cleaned. Dorothy, I still can't believe it happened. I've never been so humiliated.
Dorothy: Ma, honey, there's no reason for you to be embarrassed. He plays tricks on everybody.
Sophia: I'm talking about on my way home. My belt came loose in front of a construction site. Nobody whistled, and two guys went home sick.
Quote from Dorothy's New Friend
Rose: I remember when I was a little girl back in St. Olaf. There was this old lady who lived up the street. She never smiled. I mean, she always looked angry. The kids said she'd kill anyone who even stepped on her property. We called her Mean Old Lady Higgenlooper.
Blanche: Yeah, kids can be pretty cruel.
Rose: No. That was her name. Mean Old Lady Higgenlooper. She had it changed legally 'cause everybody called her that anyway.
Blanche: Then how come your name isn't Big Dummy?
Rose: Well, there were already three other people in town with that name. But that's beside the point. One day I got up the courage to go up to Mean Old Lady Higgenlooper and ask her why she always frowned. Well, she had been born with no smiling muscles. I pointed out that a frown is just a smile turned upside down. So from then on, whenever I'd go by, she'd stand on her head and wave.
Quote from Henny Penny - Straight, No Chaser
Blanche: This is horrible. As Big Daddy used to say, "I'm feeling lower than the rent on a burnin' building."
Rose: That's funny. I used to live in a burning building. And it was cheap. It was Charlie's and my first house. Well, scoff if you must, but it was warm and toasty. I'll never forget Charlie throwing me over his shoulder and dashing across the threshold. Oh, it was a beautiful place. Three bedrooms, two baths. Then two bedrooms and one bath. Eventually, we outgrew the place.