Blanche: Get away from me, you bloodhounds. I have nothing to say to you. Except this: From now on, when my name appears in print, it had better read "Blanche Devereaux, 39".

Sophia: Bruno Bonofiglio.
Dorothy: Ma! I was asleep!
Sophia: So was I. That's when it came to me. Picture this. Sicily, 1922. The village is in a terrible wine crisis. It's the peak of the wine season. And all our grape stompers are ravaged by an outbreak of athlete's foot. Soon the Chianti has a green hue and tastes like Desenex. They call in Sicily's foremost podiatrist, Bruno Bonofiglio. He's the one who prescribed arch supports for Mussolini.
Dorothy: Must have really helped his lower back when they hung him by his heels.
Sophia: Forget him. I'm talking about Bruno Bonofiglio. I take one look at him, and I have a hunch he's trouble. But nobody believes me. So, what happens? He cures everybody and wine sales skyrocket.
Dorothy: Wait a minute, wait a minute. Ma. Unless I'm missing something, your hunch was wrong.
Sophia: My hunches are never wrong. Now, everyone is living high on the hog and eating rich foods. The next thing you know, there's a gout epidemic. Nobody can stomp grapes. And Bruno makes a killing selling orthopedic sandals.
Dorothy: Don't tell me. He went to America, and changed his name to Dr. Scholl.
Sophia: No. Actually, he developed a foot fetish and suffocated when he shoved his head in a lady's rubber boot.
Dorothy: Ma, don't ever wake me up again.

Dorothy: Listen, Blanche, ruining a man's career for a one night stand is hardly something to make light of.
Blanche: Oh, now, wait a minute. You girls don't believe this. Well, I mean I'm not denying that's me in the photograph, but I am denying that anything happened. I just dropped off his folder.
Dorothy: Then why does it say here that you were in his house for two hours?
Blanche: We were just talking.
Rose: Then why does it say, "The explosion was so great, it shattered windows in the building next door."
Dorothy: Rose, that's an article about an earthquake in Guatemala!