Sophia: Oh, my God. That's the cutest baby I've ever seen.
Dorothy: Ma, it's a pig!
Sophia: Hey, you were no great looker when I brought you home from the hospital. I loved you anyway.

Sophia: Is this 6151 Richmond Street?
Dorothy: Ma, what's the matter?
Sophia: Oh, Dorothy, thank God it's you. I broke my glasses at the mall and I can't see a thing. It- It took it took me six hours to find my way home.
Dorothy: Ma, if you couldn't see, why didn't you call me to come get you?
Sophia: I tried to, but every time I put in a dime and dialed, a condom popped out. I got five in my pocket. Here, Dorothy. A lifetime supply.

Rose: Oh, Blanche, we don't have anything to worry about. If we give that baby love and attention and understanding, it'll turn out fine.
Dorothy: That's beautiful.
Rose: Besides, what does Spock know about raising babies? On Vulcan, all the kids are born in pods.
Dorothy: Rose, I know this is a long shot, but, did you take much acid during the '60s?