Rose Quote #299
Dorothy: Fine. But if she's gonna stay another couple of days, we'd better get more diapers and food.
Rose: I'm thawing some pork chops.
Blanche: Honey, she only has two teeth. How is she supposed to eat a pork chop?
Rose: My Uncle Lester only had one tooth, and he could eat corn on the cob. Of course, he didn't get a lot of it into his mouth. So they'd cream what fell on his pants, and he'd eat it later.
Quote from Sophia
Dorothy: Ma, are you sure about this?
Sophia: I'm not even sure I have these pants on right.
Dorothy: Listen, I want you to go slow and pace yourself.
Sophia: That's what I used to tell your father. The only thing he did faster than eat was make love. And in both cases, before I was finished, he'd pat his stomach and say, "I've had enough."
Quote from Rose
Rose: Being abandoned is the worst. I know. I was almost abandoned.
Rose: I was nine. It was the last night of the Deep-Root Vegetable Carnival, and I was having the greatest time. Eating candied turnips and guessing how many sweet potatoes were in the glass jar. Bobbing for yams. I had a knack of always coming up with the firmest, most appealing yams.
Blanche: I was once told I had the firmest, most appealing gams.
Dorothy: Blanche, try and stay with us.
Rose: Anyway, the last time I surfaced, clutching a humdinger of a yam between my teeth, my parents were gone. Frantically, I searched the carnival grounds. I was convinced I'd spend the rest of my days with the bearded lady as my foster mother, and the man who hoses down the elephants as my dad. Anyway, I was lost. And scared. But then I did what generations before me had done. I gazed up into that dark night sky and found the bright star that could guide me home.
Dorothy: The North Star.
Rose: Actually, it was the Texaco star. From a service station across the street. Our farm was just down the road from it.
Dorothy: Rose, honey, have you been washing the fruit off before you eat it?
Quote from Dorothy's New Friend
Rose: I remember when I was a little girl back in St. Olaf. There was this old lady who lived up the street. She never smiled. I mean, she always looked angry. The kids said she'd kill anyone who even stepped on her property. We called her Mean Old Lady Higgenlooper.
Blanche: Yeah, kids can be pretty cruel.
Rose: No. That was her name. Mean Old Lady Higgenlooper. She had it changed legally 'cause everybody called her that anyway.
Blanche: Then how come your name isn't Big Dummy?
Rose: Well, there were already three other people in town with that name. But that's beside the point. One day I got up the courage to go up to Mean Old Lady Higgenlooper and ask her why she always frowned. Well, she had been born with no smiling muscles. I pointed out that a frown is just a smile turned upside down. So from then on, whenever I'd go by, she'd stand on her head and wave.
Quote from Henny Penny - Straight, No Chaser
Blanche: This is horrible. As Big Daddy used to say, "I'm feeling lower than the rent on a burnin' building."
Rose: That's funny. I used to live in a burning building. And it was cheap. It was Charlie's and my first house. Well, scoff if you must, but it was warm and toasty. I'll never forget Charlie throwing me over his shoulder and dashing across the threshold. Oh, it was a beautiful place. Three bedrooms, two baths. Then two bedrooms and one bath. Eventually, we outgrew the place.