Sophia: Let me tell you two a story.
Dorothy & Blanche: No.
Sophia: A short story.
Dorothy & Blanche: No.
Sophia: An anecdote. I won't take no for an answer. Picture this. Ninety-year-old twins, Ralph & Nunzio, sitting on a park bench. Ralph says to Nunzio, "Hey, whatever happened to that streaking craze?" And Nunzio says, "What streaking craze?" And Ralph says, "Remember, when everybody took off their clothes and ran down the street." So Nunzio says, "Hey, that sounds like fun. I think I'll do it right now." So, at 90 years old, he gets naked and goes off down the street, right past these two old ladies, Carlotta and Maria. Maria turns to Carlotta and says, "What the hell was that?" And Carlotta says, "I don't know, but whatever it was, it sure needs ironing."
Dorothy: Ma, what's the point?
Sophia: With a story, you get a point. With an anecdote, pure entertainment.

Blanche: Now, who in hell was that?
Dorothy: Another one of Rose's new friends.
Blanche: Friends? They're more like animals. All they do is party and carry on all hours of the night. I am abhorred.
Sophia: We know what you are, Blanche. I'm glad to hear you finally admit it.
Blanche: Sophia, I said abhorred.
Sophia: A whore, a slut, a tramp, it's all the same.
Dorothy: Ma, we're talking about Rose.
Sophia: Yeah, lately she's been a whore, too.

Dorothy: Ma got a letter from Gina Marie Donatelli. Her cousin Joe is hanging new wallpaper in Tony Bennett's guest bathroom.
Rose: Oh, I love Tony Bennett.
Blanche: Oh, so do I. He was always so sweet to me.
Dorothy: Blanche, you dated Tony Bennett?
Blanche: Honey, I did more than date him. He may have left his heart in San Francisco, but he left his shorts on my radiator.
Rose: You're kidding.
Blanche: Hell, no. Picture this...