TV Quotes

Rose: Girls, was this the only mail today?
Blanche: Yes, can you believe it? People magazine is late again. I'm going to have to give that mailman another talking-to.
Dorothy: This time you might want to try something a little more forceful than asking him in for a Café Vienna and a warm bath.
Blanche: Dorothy, the man had just recovered from a hernia operation, and he was having trouble carrying his sack.

Rose: Sophia gets chased, and I don't even get a letter.
Sophia: You want Willy, you can have him.
Rose: What's wrong with him?
Sophia: There's nothing wrong with him. OK, so he's 90. He has the profile of a tom-turkey and his butt hits his heels when he walks. He thinks he can pull it off because he wears an ascot and a jaunty cap.
Dorothy: He sounds kinda cute, Ma. I mean, why are you avoiding him?
Sophia: There's no magic, Dorothy. No sparks. You know what I mean?
Dorothy: He's 90; you're 80. Sparks are dangerous.

Rose: Wait a minute. If you didn't sleep with any of the men in these journals, then how come it says "Bed" on the cover?
Blanche: [laughs] Oh, that doesn't say "Bed."
Rose: Right there, it does.
Blanche: Oh, silly, those are my initials. Blanche Elizabeth Devereaux.
Dorothy: Your initials spell "Bed"?

Blanche: Wish me luck.
Dorothy: Wait. Blanche, why should you do it?
Blanche: Because we'll have a better chance. I happen to be a wonderful orator. And two of the commissioners can verify that.
Dorothy: Blanche, "orator" means "speaker".
Blanche: Really? Oh. Well, somebody else do the talking.