Dorothy Quote #245
Quote from Dorothy in It's a Miserable Life
Blanche: Rose, go to her funeral, have a good cry, you'll feel a lot better.
Rose: There isn't going to be a funeral. Mrs. Claxton didn't have any friends or relatives. She'll be buried in an unmarked grave in a potter's field.
Blanche: Gee, that's too bad. Is there any more of that cheesecake?
Rose: Blanche, how can you be so callous?
Blanche: Well, I'm sorry, but I'm not going to pretend to be in mourning. Mrs. Claxton worked overtime at being a nasty woman.
Dorothy: I mean, Blanche is right. That's why nobody wants to go to her funeral.
Rose: Dorothy, how would you feel if you dropped dead and nobody showed up at your funeral?
Dorothy: Well, it's probably a personal thing, but for me, I think dropping dead would be the bigger disappointment.
The Golden Girls Quotes
‘It's a Miserable Life’ Quotes
Quote from Blanche
Blanche: Wish me luck.
Dorothy: Wait. Blanche, why should you do it?
Blanche: Because we'll have a better chance. I happen to be a wonderful orator. And two of the commissioners can verify that.
Dorothy: Blanche, "orator" means "speaker".
Blanche: Really? Oh. Well, somebody else do the talking.
Quote from Sophia
Mr. Pfeiffer: Come this way. Now, this is our slumber chamber. Oh, and here's my card. How may I be of service to you?
Dorothy: Uh, well, Mr. Pfeiffer.
Mr. Pfeiffer: That's Pfeiffer, the P is not silent.
Dorothy: Well, Mr. Pfeiffer. We're interested in arranging a funeral.
Mr. Pfeiffer: Isn't that lovely? The three of you planning for Mother.
Sophia: Hey, Pfeiffer, how would you like a punch in your p-face?
Quote from Sophia
Rose: Mrs. Claxton, we want you to know we all appreciate you helping us to save the tree.
Mrs. Claxton: I'm not. I'm here to make sure they tear it down. I hate trees. I hate people.
Blanche: Well, Mrs. Claxton, Rose told us you said you were going to help us.
Mrs. Claxton: That's right.
Dorothy: And now you're not?
Mrs. Claxton: That's right.
Rose: Well, why did you lie?
Mrs. Claxton: To get the Danish. Look, there's nothing I hate more than someone who thinks that every person who lives alone wants company and a few kind words. I live by myself because I like it. I've got no use for people. Never have. See you inside.
Dorothy: Ma, where are you going?
Sophia: To throw holy water on her. If she spits up pea soup and her head spins around, we're in big trouble.