Sophia Quote #305
Quote from Sophia in It's a Miserable Life
Blanche: Sophia, Forget it. We can't do that.
Sophia: Why not?
Dorothy: Because stapling a $20 bill to the petition is illegal. It's bribery. And don't tell us that's how you got things done in Sicily.
Sophia: That's not how we got things done in Sicily. Bribing people with money was how we got things done in New York. In Sicily, you cut off a horse's head and put it in somebody's bed.
Blanche: Sophia, you're making that up.
Sophia: Like hell. Our garbage commissioner, Fredo Lombardy, went on strike once. He woke up the next morning sharing a pillow with National Velvet. At 7.00am, he was out cleaning the street with his tongue.
The Golden Girls Quotes
‘It's a Miserable Life’ Quotes
Quote from Blanche
Blanche: Wish me luck.
Dorothy: Wait. Blanche, why should you do it?
Blanche: Because we'll have a better chance. I happen to be a wonderful orator. And two of the commissioners can verify that.
Dorothy: Blanche, "orator" means "speaker".
Blanche: Really? Oh. Well, somebody else do the talking.
Quote from Sophia
Mr. Pfeiffer: Come this way. Now, this is our slumber chamber. Oh, and here's my card. How may I be of service to you?
Dorothy: Uh, well, Mr. Pfeiffer.
Mr. Pfeiffer: That's Pfeiffer, the P is not silent.
Dorothy: Well, Mr. Pfeiffer. We're interested in arranging a funeral.
Mr. Pfeiffer: Isn't that lovely? The three of you planning for Mother.
Sophia: Hey, Pfeiffer, how would you like a punch in your p-face?
Quote from Sophia
Rose: Mrs. Claxton, we want you to know we all appreciate you helping us to save the tree.
Mrs. Claxton: I'm not. I'm here to make sure they tear it down. I hate trees. I hate people.
Blanche: Well, Mrs. Claxton, Rose told us you said you were going to help us.
Mrs. Claxton: That's right.
Dorothy: And now you're not?
Mrs. Claxton: That's right.
Rose: Well, why did you lie?
Mrs. Claxton: To get the Danish. Look, there's nothing I hate more than someone who thinks that every person who lives alone wants company and a few kind words. I live by myself because I like it. I've got no use for people. Never have. See you inside.
Dorothy: Ma, where are you going?
Sophia: To throw holy water on her. If she spits up pea soup and her head spins around, we're in big trouble.