Sophia: I got it, nobody told me. I didn't get it, nobody told me. I figured, "This is life," and went back to my meatballs.

Sophia: I had a cousin once who didn't get her period for twenty years. Then at seventy-two she got pregnant.
Dorothy: Ma, that never happened.
Sophia: Yes, it did.
Dorothy: Oh, come on. Then it must be in the Guinness Book Of Records.
Sophia: It is. The Sicilian one. The Garibaldi Book Of Records.
Dorothy: Ma, no 72-year-old woman ever became pregnant.
Sophia: So what? It cheered her up.

Blanche: Well, my whole childhood, I kept hearing about the curse. How when I was 13, I was going to get the curse. I was absolutely terrified. The year of my 13th birthday, I slept with the lights on all year. Oh, I was sure there was a witch behind every wisteria. I didn't go out on Halloween. I was a wreck. But the year went by and no curse. Then the next year went by, no curse. Then finally, when I was 15, Mama took me to the doctor because I still didn't have the curse. And he said, "Blanche, do you mean to tell me you still don't have your period?" I said, "Well, of course I have my period, you fool. I'm not a child. I've had my period for almost two years. It's the curse I don't have."