Rose: What are you doing?
Sophia: It's Tuesday night. I'm cleaning out my purse.
Rose: Did all that stuff come out of your purse?
Sophia: No, I was also cleaning out my ears. That's where the Feenamint and the rain bonnet came from.
Rose: Sophia, why are you in such a bad mood?
Sophia: Forgive me, Rose, but I haven't had sex in 15 years and it's starting to get on my nerves.

Rose: Nils Felander attempted to harass me repeatedly.
Blanche: What do you mean, he attempted to?
Rose: He worked at Lars Erikson's Drugstore and Tackle Shop. He was a soda jerk. Now that I think about it, he was the town jerk. Every Saturday afternoon, I'd go in and have a sundae. Well, Nils would arrange the ice cream scoops in an obscene way. I could never prove it, because by the time I would take it home to show my father... the evidence had-
Rose, Dorothy & Blanche: [in unison] melted.
Rose: To this day, every time I pass an ice cream parlor or a tackle shop, I blush.

Rose: Here we are, Sophia. The perfect after-dinner treat. A nice dish of Jell-O.
Sophia: I hate Jell-O. If God wanted peaches suspended in midair, he would have filled them with helium.