Dorothy: Well, I lied to Stan. I used to tell him how great he was in bed. It was really very difficult, but fortunately, I only had to tell him on his birthday.

Sophia: Are you two coming? The spaghetti is getting cold!
Rose: We'll be there in a minute. We're in the middle of a makeup lesson.
Sophia: I hope the kid can help you. You wear more rouge than Miss Piggy!

Rose: What's the biggest lie you've ever told?
Blanche: I once told my sister Charmaine that she was left on our doorstep by gypsies.
Dorothy: What?
Rose: Well, Blanche, why would you want to do a thing like that?
Blanche: She annoyed me. Always mouthing off about how her hair was curlier than mine, her complexion was prettier than mine. I finally said there was good reason for it, she was left by gypsies! I had her completely convinced!
Rose: What did she say when you told her the truth?
Blanche: Oh, I never did. I even tried to help her find her little old gypsy mama.