Blanche: All right, now, Rose, go on. I don't want dead people in my house.
Dorothy: People, we are talking about one man, who is probably sleeping.
Sophia: You don't think I can recognize death? I lived in a retirement home. Death visited more often than children.

Rose: Well, I've never had to do this before, tell a wife that her husband's been cheating on her with me. That's the hardest thing to tell anybody.
Blanche: Oh, no, it's not. How about having to tell a pregnant woman that her husband's been cheating on her with her own sister and you're the sister and you're pregnant, too by her husband.
Dorothy: You didn't!
Blanche: Not me! Last night on Dallas. Or Dynasty. Or Falcon's Landing. Or one of those. They're all the same.
Rose: Oh, I thought you were the one.
Blanche: Oh, please. I could never do anything like that. If you saw my brother-in-law, you'd know why.

Rose: Oh, poor Al, and he just got a hair transplant.
Blanche: Here's a Beatty in Boca Raton. It's the only one.
Rose: And somebody told me he just bought a farm. Oh, my God. What'll I say to her?
Sophia: That he died in the bed of an idiot.