Dorothy: Ma, where are you going with all that food?
Sophia: I'm stashing it away from Rose's mother. She's on a special diet. I hate those people. You turn your back for a second, boom boom, your food is gone. Anything on your plate is suddenly on their diet.
Dorothy: Oh, come on, Ma. You haven't even met Rose's mother.
Sophia: I know a lot of old people. They're all the same. They're cranky, they're demanding, they repeat themselves. They're cranky, they're demanding...

Blanche: I am talking about what's happening between Dirk and me. It's something really special, something fragile and rare. I've only felt this once before. It was during my 17th summer and I was working behind the cosmetics counter at the Rexall drugstore. I was stocking the Maybelline display when I heard this booming voice say, "Excuse me, ma'am. Where are the cuticle scissors?" I turned around and there he was. Our eyes locked, and for one brief moment, there was nobody else on earth but the two of us.
Dorothy: Please, Blanche. Sidney Sheldon tells shorter stories!
Blanche: I know in my heart, if I'd just followed my feelings that day at the Rexall drugstore, today I would be Mrs. Andy Griffith! I tell you what, I'm not gonna make the same mistake with Dirk that I made with Andy.
Dorothy: Didn't she tell us that story before?
Sophia: Yes, but the last time it was Woolworth's, a toenail clipper, and John Cameron Swayze.

Blanche: You know, I think I can handle this relationship with Dirk. I'm going out with him Saturday night.
Dorothy: Was there ever any doubt?
Blanche: Momentarily. This is strictly off the record, but Dirk's nearly five years younger than I am.
Dorothy: In what, Blanche, dog years?