Blanche: Well, I know just how Dorothy feels. When I was young girl, I witnessed a horse theft on my Grandaddy's plantation. Well, I screamed for help. My Grandaddy jumped up on his stallion and rode that horse thief down. And then, to teach me a lesson about the justice system, Grandaddy dragged that horse thief into court, with me as the star witness. I had to testify in front of a packed courtroom.
Rose: You must have been terrified.
Blanche: Oh, honey, I was. I didn't know what to wear. I only had two dresses with me. One bright one, suitable for weddings or a cotillion, and one darker one, more suitable for funerals or a hanging.
Dorothy: Blanche, see, my folks were poor. I just had one of those reversible hanging/cotillion dresses.
Blanche: Well, I picked the bright one. Now, when I took the stand, a hush fell over that courtroom. I told the judge exactly what I'd seen, and after my testimony, that horse thief's fate was sealed. Justice won the day!
Dorothy: Blanche, what the hell has that got to do with what's going on now?
Blanche: Well, like any good story, mine was deliberately ambiguous, thus affording the listener the opportunity to glean from it whatever he may. Besides, I just hate it when I'm left out of conversations.

Rose: I've only been to one surprise party in my life, but I'll never forget it. It was for Grandma Nylund's 100th birthday. She was from a whaling village in the old country, so we kind of made that the theme of the party. We all dressed as Vikings, with helmets and spears. And we all crowded into her little room up over the barn, and she walked in and lit a candle. And we yelled, "Surprise!" And she dropped dead right there. We all thought that was such a nice way to go.

Rose: For one week I am going to be your personal videnfrogen.
Blanche: Can one woman do that for another?
Dorothy: Only if they're the same height. What the hell is a weedenfrurgen?
Rose: Videnfrogen. It's a personal servant. It's the only way to make up for something like this. Oh, we've done it in my family for years. Ever since Uncle Ben lost Lars Olsen's artificial leg. It was the day of the big four-county toboggan race, and without his leg, Lars came in dead last. Oh, that was a day to remember.
Dorothy: I think every American remembers where he was the day Lars lost that toboggan race.
Rose: Well, Uncle Ben felt just terrible. I mean, he tried to make it up to Lars and Lars said he forgave him, but you could tell there were still hard feelings. Lars kept trying to run Ben down with his bicycle. But with only one leg, I mean how fast-
Dorothy, Blanche & Rose: Could he pedal?
Rose: Well, finally, Uncle Ben suggested something to clear the air once and for all. For one week, he would be Lars's personal videnfrogen, and do whatever Lars wanted. Lars agreed, and it worked. I mean, it always works. So, Blanche, won't you give it a try?