Blanche: Well, I know just how Dorothy feels. When I was young girl, I witnessed a horse theft on my Grandaddy's plantation. Well, I screamed for help. My Grandaddy jumped up on his stallion and rode that horse thief down. And then, to teach me a lesson about the justice system, Grandaddy dragged that horse thief into court, with me as the star witness. I had to testify in front of a packed courtroom.
Rose: You must have been terrified.
Blanche: Oh, honey, I was. I didn't know what to wear. I only had two dresses with me. One bright one, suitable for weddings or a cotillion, and one darker one, more suitable for funerals or a hanging.
Dorothy: Blanche, see, my folks were poor. I just had one of those reversible hanging/cotillion dresses.
Blanche: Well, I picked the bright one. Now, when I took the stand, a hush fell over that courtroom. I told the judge exactly what I'd seen, and after my testimony, that horse thief's fate was sealed. Justice won the day!
Dorothy: Blanche, what the hell has that got to do with what's going on now?
Blanche: Well, like any good story, mine was deliberately ambiguous, thus affording the listener the opportunity to glean from it whatever he may. Besides, I just hate it when I'm left out of conversations.

Blanche: Oh, that's a great idea! I just love surprise parties. I remember, every year on my birthday, George would take me to the Country Club. And every year, he would say would just have a nice, quiet little dinner. Then we'd walk into the dining room and the lights would go on, and our friends, all from the finest families, would yell, "Surprise!" And every year I'd pretend to be surprised. It always made George so happy.
Dorothy: Good Lord, how could you fake it every year?
Blanche: Well, Dorothy, when we were first married, I faked it three times a week. That always made George happy, too.

Rose: I've only been to one surprise party in my life, but I'll never forget it. It was for Grandma Nylund's 100th birthday. She was from a whaling village in the old country, so we kind of made that the theme of the party. We all dressed as Vikings, with helmets and spears. And we all crowded into her little room up over the barn, and she walked in and lit a candle. And we yelled, "Surprise!" And she dropped dead right there. We all thought that was such a nice way to go.