The Golden Girls - Rose Quote #525
Dorothy: I'm sorry, Rose, but I have to grade you like everybody else.
Rose: Well, look, Dorothy, you made a mistake. I got that question right.
Dorothy: Rose, the question was "Who was the leader of the Third Reich?" You wrote "Fritz Stickelmeyer," your high school history teacher. The correct answer is Adolf Hitler.
Rose: Where's my history book? Is this the man we're talking about?
Dorothy: Yes, that is Adolf Hitler.
Rose: You can call him whatever you want, but that's Fritz Stickelmeyer. I'm as sure of that as I am that's Eva Braun standing next to him.
Dorothy: You recognize Eva Braun?
Rose: Well, sure. She was our high school P.E. teacher. It was rumored she used to date Mr. Stickelmeyer.
Dorothy: Rose, that's it. I just can't take any more. With this question right, you have a D minus. Rose, you're a high school graduate.
Quote from Sophia
Rose: Girls! Girls, guess what.
Sophia: Wait a minute. Wait a minute! Why do you always come into a room and say, "Girls, girls"? Do you see Molly Ringwald sitting here?
Rose: You're awfully cranky today.
Sophia: Well, forgive me. My arthritis is bothering me, my social security check was late, and I realized today I haven't showered with a man in 22 years.
Dorothy: Ma, Pop's been dead 27 years.
Sophia: What's your point?
Quote from Sophia
Blanche: Sophia, can you ever forgive me for all those ugly things I said?
Sophia: Of course. It was said in the heat of battle.
Blanche: You know, if I had it all to do over again, I'd let you have Fidel.
Sophia: Oh, you're so generous! The man's packing material, now you're letting me have him? I have coat racks livelier than him! She's giving him to me. The man's face has more powder on it than Ann Miller's and she's giving him to me. A piece of lumber would make a better dancing partner! Thanks for niente!
Quote from Sophia
Sophia: Hold it. Stay where you are. Father, if you don't mind my saying so, I think you lost control of the room. Excuse me. The man in that box was a bum. A scoundrel, a cheat and a liar.
Woman: You got that right.
Sophia: Quiet. I work alone. But there was another side to him, and it was beautiful. He awakened feelings in me I haven't felt in 35 years. We used to hug and kiss and hold hands, and it was nice. He made me feel attractive and desirable again. He probably made the rest of you feel that way too. And looking out at this kennel club, that was no small accomplishment. You may all hate Fidel right now, but I know the next time I'm sitting in the park on a warm sunny day, and I smell the aroma of a cheap cigar I'll think of Fidel Santiago and I'll smile.
Quote from Dorothy's New Friend
Rose: I remember when I was a little girl back in St. Olaf. There was this old lady who lived up the street. She never smiled. I mean, she always looked angry. The kids said she'd kill anyone who even stepped on her property. We called her Mean Old Lady Higgenlooper.
Blanche: Yeah, kids can be pretty cruel.
Rose: No. That was her name. Mean Old Lady Higgenlooper. She had it changed legally 'cause everybody called her that anyway.
Blanche: Then how come your name isn't Big Dummy?
Rose: Well, there were already three other people in town with that name. But that's beside the point. One day I got up the courage to go up to Mean Old Lady Higgenlooper and ask her why she always frowned. Well, she had been born with no smiling muscles. I pointed out that a frown is just a smile turned upside down. So from then on, whenever I'd go by, she'd stand on her head and wave.
Quote from Henny Penny - Straight, No Chaser
Blanche: This is horrible. As Big Daddy used to say, "I'm feeling lower than the rent on a burnin' building."
Rose: That's funny. I used to live in a burning building. And it was cheap. It was Charlie's and my first house. Well, scoff if you must, but it was warm and toasty. I'll never forget Charlie throwing me over his shoulder and dashing across the threshold. Oh, it was a beautiful place. Three bedrooms, two baths. Then two bedrooms and one bath. Eventually, we outgrew the place.
Quote from Mother Load
Rose: Therapy's a wonderful idea. Oh, I remember St. Olaf's most famous psychotherapists, the Freud brothers, Sigmund and Roy. You may have read their bestseller, "If I Have All the Cheese I Want, Why Am I Still Unhappy?"