Rose Quote #396
Rose: I remember the last time I tried to give a speech. I was in high school. You wanna hear about it?
Blanche: Would you follow us if we tried to make a run for it?
Blanche: You were saying?
Rose: It was my high school graduation. I was valedictorian.
Blanche: You were valedictorian?
Rose: Yes. I was fourth out of 19 graduating seniors. Anyway-
Dorothy: Wait a minute. Rose, if you were fourth, how were you chosen valedictorian?
Rose: The same way every high school chooses the valedictorian. We drew straws.
Dorothy: And you picked the biggest one.
Rose: I don't like to brag. Anyway, the topic of my speech was "There's a big world out there but you have to change buses in Tyler's Landing if you want to see it. " Now, graduation day came and everybody was there. The mayor was there, his wife, old Johannson, young Johannson, big and little Gustav, the Stringmeyer twins, fat Jerry...
Dorothy: Will you get to the point, Rose?
Rose: The point is I choked. Wimped out, froze on the spot. Since then, I have never been able to speak in front of a crowd.
Sophia: I say next time, we try and outrun her.
Quote from Sophia
Dorothy: Hi, Ma. Hey, what is that smell?
Sophia: It's the sweet smell of success. It's my new entry in the cooking contest. Veal parmesan, my luckiest dish. It saved my marriage once.
Dorothy: Ma, you gonna tell a story?
Sophia: Please, does Heifetz rosin a bow? This is a tearjerker. Picture this. New York City, 1931. The Depression. Your father and I are newlyweds. One rainy night, we have our first fight. He says he's leaving, I say fine. He goes out the door, I start to cook. A few hours later, he comes back. He says he couldn't find a cab. We eat in silence. Halfway through, I look up. He's got tears in his eyes. He tells me, "This meal is like our marriage." The veal is like him, tough and stubborn. The tomato sauce is like me, hot and spicy. And the mozzarella is like our love: It stretches but it never breaks.
Dorothy: Ma, that's lovely, but I don't see what luck had to do with it.
Sophia: You were conceived that night, Dorothy.
Sophia: What's lucky is your father never knew or he never would have eaten my veal again.
Quote from Blanche
Blanche: I'm not afraid of anything now. But I sure used to be. Not a phobia, exactly, but something just as bad. A recurring dream. Night after night, I had this awful dream that I was trapped in an enclosed space full of men.
Dorothy: Now what could that mean? Let's give this a second.
Blanche: Now, wait a minute. There's more to it. All the men were bald. Just me and a bunch of bald men. Oh, and I kept hearing the voice of God. Anyway, one day I just finally said to myself: "Blanche, you are bigger than this. You don't have to succumb to any dream. Unless it involves meeting Mel Gibson at an oyster bar." And just like that it stopped. Mind over matter, you can do the same thing, Rose.
Quote from Dorothy's New Friend
Rose: I remember when I was a little girl back in St. Olaf. There was this old lady who lived up the street. She never smiled. I mean, she always looked angry. The kids said she'd kill anyone who even stepped on her property. We called her Mean Old Lady Higgenlooper.
Blanche: Yeah, kids can be pretty cruel.
Rose: No. That was her name. Mean Old Lady Higgenlooper. She had it changed legally 'cause everybody called her that anyway.
Blanche: Then how come your name isn't Big Dummy?
Rose: Well, there were already three other people in town with that name. But that's beside the point. One day I got up the courage to go up to Mean Old Lady Higgenlooper and ask her why she always frowned. Well, she had been born with no smiling muscles. I pointed out that a frown is just a smile turned upside down. So from then on, whenever I'd go by, she'd stand on her head and wave.
Quote from Henny Penny - Straight, No Chaser
Blanche: This is horrible. As Big Daddy used to say, "I'm feeling lower than the rent on a burnin' building."
Rose: That's funny. I used to live in a burning building. And it was cheap. It was Charlie's and my first house. Well, scoff if you must, but it was warm and toasty. I'll never forget Charlie throwing me over his shoulder and dashing across the threshold. Oh, it was a beautiful place. Three bedrooms, two baths. Then two bedrooms and one bath. Eventually, we outgrew the place.