Dorothy: Oh, Ma, Ma, your first day. You must be really excited.
Sophia: You bet I'm excited. This was a great idea of yours. It's given me a whole new lease on life. I need a raise.
Dorothy: Ma, you haven't even started yet.
Sophia: I meant help me up. These new Underalls are choking my pancreas.

Rose: Hi, Dorothy. Cooking?
Dorothy: No, Rose, I'm developing pictures from the Magellan space probe. Yes, I'm cooking.
Rose: I was just trying to make conversation. Don't talk to me like I'm stupid.

Blanche: I am going to be a model. There I was, sitting at the lunch counter, and just like Miss Lana Turner, I was discovered. Well, not exactly like Miss Lana Turner.
Rose: You mean she was sipping a soda and you were scarfing down your usual lumberjack breakfast.
Blanche: Oh, Rose. Silly, silly, water-retaining Rose. She was discovered for the movies. I was discovered by a print ad photographer, and the shoot's today.
Dorothy: Oh, Blanche, haven't you had enough problems with photographers? Remember the last time? Sure, the pictures turned out fine, but it cost your friend his party's nomination.

Blanche: Well I checked this guy out. He's a pro. Oh, imagine my face gracing the pages of Miami's biggest PennySaver.
Dorothy: Blanche, all this commotion over a PennySaver?
Blanche: Well, I know it isn't exactly Vogue, but it is delivered with every daily in Miami. Oh, girls, what a glorious day. I just feel so pretty and alive and young as a teenager.
Dorothy: Oh, that's terrific. Blanche, oh, by the way, you got a phone call this morning from your grandson. He got his driver's license.

Mr. Porter: Ms. Zbornak. Right on time.
Dorothy: Ah, Mr. Porter. I'd like you to meet your new activities director - my mother Sophia Petrillo.
Mr. Porter: Activities director?
Dorothy: [fixes Sophia's hair, moves her hands over her ears] Surely you remember the conversation we had last- Do this for me. You promised. Activities director?
Mr. Porter: Oh, of course I remember. Nice meeting you. I'm sure you'll get along well with our, uh, our little gang.

Sophia: Hi, everybody. I'm your new activities director.
Lucille: What's your name, honey?
Sophia: Sophia.
Lucille: Sophia, move it. You're blockin' the TV.
Sophia: Tough room. But don't worry, I'm highly qualified.

Sophia: By the way, what actually does an activities director do?
Mr. Porter: Well, basically you'll pop in the video rental, be a fourth for bridge, a buddy. If you do it well, we'll have trouble telling you from the other residents.
Sophia: I can do that.
Mr. Porter: Good. If you need me, I'll be in my office. Oh, by the way, couple things you should know. This is Mr. Lewis. He won't be any trouble. He's just sort of, uh, quiet. And, uh, that's Smokey. He fancies himself a ladies' man. Sort of the, uh, the rooster of our little henhouse. Whatever you do, don't dance with him. He'll put the moves on anybody.
Sophia: Smokey, I want you to meet my daughter.
Dorothy: Ma!

Sophia: I'm sorry. It just bothers me.
Dorothy: Oh, Ma. Cypress Grove has a great reputation. Did you see the story they did about it on 60 Minutes?
Sophia: No.
Dorothy: Short piece. It was just Mike Wallace saying, "Sorry I bothered you."

Blanche: Afternoon, Dorothy. My, don't you look lovely today?
Dorothy: Why, thank you. Oh. And don't you look, uh, beautiful, vivacious, exquisite and, uh, uh... Let's see. Breathtaking?
Blanche: Dorothy, you know, at some point I'm going to have to start questioning your sincerity. When we get to that point, I'll let you know.

Rose: I'm the one who should be excited. Imagine. These hands that once reached inside a chicken for a breech birth will soon grace the pages of a PennySaver.
Dorothy: You've come a long way, baby.