Blanche: Ah, girls, it finally happened. The most wonderful thing happened to me at the drug store today.
Rose: Oh, no. Dr. Scholl was there in person, and I missed it.
Blanche: Rose, get new heroes.

Dorothy: Ma, look at this place. It's lovely.
Sophia: Don't get any ideas, Pussycat.
Dorothy: I'm not getting any ideas, Ma.
Sophia: You're scheming. Remember Shady Pines, Dorothy? "Honest, Ma, this is the way to the new Dairy Queen."

Dorothy: Ma, Mr. Porter had them resting, which is something you might want to try. I don't like this whole deal.
Sophia: Shady Pines - now, there's a home. Luxury suites, tennis tournaments. Want a massage? Dial nine. And the food. The filet mignon...
Dorothy: Oh, really, Ma? Shady Pines had filet mignon?
Sophia: One. They'd throw it in the pit and make us fight for it.

Dorothy: Blanche, I'm confused. So they want to use Rose's hands. What's the big deal?
Rose: Yeah, Blanche, so what? So life threw the dumb country girl a crumb for once. I mean, you're sexy and beautiful all the time. Let's face it. You have Bette Davis eyes and Freddie Krueger hands.
Blanche: Oh. I have had it with you. I'm going to my room, and I may never come out.
Rose: Is it the weekend already?

Rose: Can you believe it? I'm beginning to think Blanche is hung up on her looks.
Dorothy: Boy, you don't need lightning to strike you.
Rose: No, thanks. Not again. Once was enough.
Dorothy: An extra piece of the puzzle.

Dorothy: Oh, Ma, I'm glad you're here. I got a call from Mr. Porter. He thinks you're pushing the folks at Cypress Grove too hard.
Sophia: Big deal. One little dance-till-you-drop marathon. It only took ten minutes.
Dorothy: And what's this about their staying into the night doing homework?
Sophia: A lot of them sit around waiting for their kids to write. So I said, "Why don't you write to our lonely servicemen instead?" I mean, we older folks have to exercise our minds, too. And don't you forget it, Gloria.
Dorothy: Ma, Gloria is your daughter in California.
Sophia: Uh, I-I knew that. A mere dramatization to make my point, uh, pal.

Dorothy: Look, Ma, I know that you're excited about this job, but-
Sophia: It's more than a job, Dorothy. That's it. "Dorothy." When I see them, I see me. Don't you understand?
Dorothy: Of course I understand. I know that your heart's in the right place, but-
Sophia: No "buts." I'm not going to sit here while people are forced to throw in the towel. Have you ever seen what happens to a person when their brain is allowed to disintegrate and their minds turn completely to mush?
Rose: [staring at her hands] Hey, my middle finger's the longest.

Blanche: Oh, my God!
Dorothy: What's the matter, Blanche?
Rose: Oh, my God!
Dorothy: Oh, come on, no matter what- Oh, my God! "Does your face look like this? Do your hands look like this? You need Ponce de Leon Antiaging Cream." [laughing, then seriously] I'd sue.
Blanche: Dorothy Zbornak, how could you?
Rose: Oh, look, they have airbrushed liver spots all over us.
Dorothy: Tell me about it. You guys look like you should be barking on the front seat of a fire engine. [laughing, then seriously] I really would sue.

Blanche: Do you know what I think the worst part of getting older is?
Dorothy: Your face? Rose's hands?
Blanche: No. I think the worst part about getting older is that overwhelming sense of, "Where did the time go?" I mean, was it really that long ago I was just a little girl?
Dorothy: Oh, why guess? Lift up your chin, and we'll count the rings.
Blanche: Dorothy, I was about to share with you a significant memory from my youth. It was the evening my mother gave birth to Clayton. In the spirit of the happy occasion, Big Daddy and a few of his cronies tied one on and went carousing through the streets of Atlanta, looking for some trouble. Just then, as luck would have it, who rounded the corner but two smart-mouthed New York lawyers. So, one thing led to another, and, well, Big Daddy and his friends ended up sort of skimming them across Higgins Pond. It was all in good fun. Least that was their defense. Anyway, that was the night prohibition started.
Dorothy: Blanche, prohibition started in the '20s.
Blanche: Oh, I'm sorry. I meant probation. Big Daddy went on probation.
Dorothy: And, uh, the point of this sordid song of the South?
Blanche: Just that sometimes a daughter has to look after her own parent, as unnatural as that may feel.

Sophia: Well, Dorothy, I'm ready to go to work. How do I look?
Dorothy: Oh, Ma, you look adorable.
Sophia: Adorable? I want to look aggressive, powerful, like a corporate killer.
Dorothy: Lose the hat. Perfect. Perfect. Now you look like the activities director at a retirement home.